10 for July

10 reasons why I haven't blogged for 2 weeks:

1. The ward (church) campout last weekend. Yes, we went. I know, I know, it involved actually leaving our house and sleeping outside, but we were in attendance for an evening. My kids had a blast, and so did Shane and I. It was a lot of work for one night, but it was worth it.
2. Stopping at Granny's in Heber on the way home from said ward campout. Granny's is a little house turned into burger joint in Heber that has really good shakes. Mmm, ice cream.
3. A few barbecues with friends. Nothing better than sitting out during the evening, watching the kids play and chatting with grown-ups.
4. Volunteering at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple for the last time. My cute sister and niece came with their kids and mine to tour the temple while I was there. It was so fun to see them coming to tour this temple. I was stationed outside by the tents, so we didn't get to be inside the temple together (which was my hope) but it was fun anyway. Thanks, Amy and Lyndsay for coming! And for taking care of the boys.
5. Going to Park City to look at the outlet stores and tour the Olympic Park. I finally got to take the pictures I wanted to take last year when we spent two days there, sans camera.
6. Dancing at Ririe Woodbury. My cute friend Beth invited me to come and take a modern technique class at the workshop she was doing this week. I probably looked a lot worse than I thought I did, but it was heaven to move like that again, and for a person to say to me, "No, you pique on the right, not the left." Thanks, Beth, for the invite. I couldn't stop practicing the combinations all day today while I cleaned my kitchen floor.
7. The Nordstrom half-yearly sale. It's a family tradition. My mom, two of my sisters, and two of my nieces were there this year. Fun!
8. Free lunch. There is a park a few miles away that does free lunch for the kids every. single. weekday. It is fun, and free, and gets us out of the house for an hour or so. And I don't have to make lunch. Half of my neighborhood is there most days.
9. School shopping, since Thomas goes back to school in 2 weeks. We bought my kids Van's shoes this year, which we've never done before. They look so dang cute in them. And they beg me on a daily basis to wear them. Remember how hard it was to have to wait to wear your school clothes? Torture.
10. Depriving mother cats of their kittens. I feel guilty about this one. A mother cat had taken up residency for one of her kittens under my barbecue. The kitten had something wrong with one of its legs, and so it couldn't defend herself. I think she picked my yard because it was fenced and the kitten would be safer. However, I didn't like the idea of a dead cat in my back yard, so I caught it and had animal control come and get it. I feel so bad, but at least the mom can traipse after her other two kittens who probably get into a lot more trouble. Yeah, I feel like the dog catcher or something. But I think I did the right thing. It's better than having the cat get hit by a car or mauled by a dog, right? Right?

9 people I spent time with:

1. My friend Rebecca. I love those friendships that you can go for 2 years without seeing each other and only talking a few times on the phone, and yet when you meet up for breakfast one day, it's like you've never been apart.
2. Lucy, a friend and one of my favorite bloggers. Again, it's awesome to just step right back into each other's lives as if time hasn't passed. Thanks for making time, Lucy!
3. Harry Potter. The film version, that is. I still can't really think about this movie because I'm just bugged at all the stuff they kept out, and all the stuff that was added that was unnecessary. Hollywood just loves to ruin things, I think.
4. My husband. We actually went on a date together. I love going on dates!
5. Myself. My kids are getting older, and more and more they are playing at friends houses and I am alone at my house. It's been a long time since I've had this much alone time. It's a little bittersweet. I don't want them to grow up so fast!
6. Isaiah
7. Jeremiah and
8. Ezekiel. I finished two of the three books last month in the Old Testament. Holy hellfire and damnation, those guys were intense.
9. Grasshoppers. Who seem to think that the running trail is theirs, and jump out at me at the very last second as I run past them. One even jumped on my hand the other day, mid run. I'm pretty sure I dropped my water bottle and squealed like a little girl. I hope no one was watching.

8 books I've read lately and will probably never review:

1. Love and Other Impossible Pursuits (read it in 2 days, a little depressing, but ok)
2. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress (fast read, thought provoking)
3. The Story Sisters, Alice Hoffman (Depressing, long-winded, not her best novel)
4. The Sugar Queen. (By the author of Garden Secrets.)
5. The House at Riverton, Kate Mortland (Awesome. One of my new favorite authors, I think.)
6. The Forgotten Garden, Kath Mortland (Mortland's second book, but her first that I read. I stumbled across it while waiting for another book to become available; this is one I will buy. It was beautiful! Read it, read it, read it!)
7. The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane (not as good as I've hoped for, but an interesting angle on the Salem Witch Trials)
8. The Angels Game (Dark, gothic, but interesting. I might read the author's other book, Shadow of the Wind)

7 things I will or should do this weekend:

1. Wash every one's sheets (go ahead and drop yours off; I'll throw them in with the others!)
2. Fold some laundry
3. Attend a friend's baby blessing.
4. Go to a friend's house for dinner on Sunday.
5. Call Shane's grandpa. We talk to him a lot now that he is alone. I wish we had done it more when Grandma was alive, though.
6. Talk to my sisters. I've been horrible lately.
7. Change my table cloth. It's gross.

6 things Shane will do this weekend:

1. Go to above baby blessing. He's really looking forward to going to church, I'll tell you. .
2. Change the brakes on his Jeep. It's his first child, really, or maybe his first wife.
3. Iron some clothes. I love that I married an ironer.
4. Tease me about something. It's inevitable.
5. See a friend on Sunday at said dinner that he hasn't seen in a long time. Good times.
6. He claims he wants to get frisky. We'll just have to see how good that ironing is, and whether I'm feeling generous. (Come on, when asked, what else is a husband going to say he wants to do this weekend? Mind you, this answer came AFTER the one about changing his brakes. I know where I stand.)

5 things to do in August:

1. Start Thomas in third grade. How did that happen?
2. Finalize our plans for San Diego. We are going to stay in a hotel 100 yards away from the beach. I can't wait!!!
3. Go to Oquirrh Mountain Temple dedication.
4. Have Thomas' 8th birthday. Wow.
5. Enjoy the last month of real summer. And free kid lunches.

4 things I want to do in San Diego:

1. Run on the beach, since our hotel is right by the ocean. I can't wait to run at sea level!
2. Go to Sea World.
3. Visit Shane's aunt and uncle who live there.
4. Enjoy a real vacation.

3 things I did in July I haven't done for a long time:

1. Wore different earrings on 2 separate occasions. I usually keep the same old earrings in, but I figure I have other options.
2. Sewed a blanket. My poor sewing machine hadn't seen the light of day all year.
3. Danced. I know, I've already mentioned it. But it seriously brought me JOY to take that class. I even took a self-portrait with the camera on my phone just to document the experience. If I wouldn't have looked silly, I would have skipped the whole way to my car.

2 people to thank:

1. Lyndsay for getting my kids ready for the temple, driving them, then staying with them afterwards. You rock!
2. Melanie, for watching my kids while I was dancing. Thank you so much for letting me have a few (selfish) hours to myself. I owe you!!!

1: the number of hours this post has taken me. Holy long post!

Good-bye, July. Bring on August!

A quick quote...

from the book I'm reading (Forgotten Garden, by Kate Morton.)

"Cassandra couldn't help herself. She curled up on her side in the center of the camp bed. It was the perfect place for reading, cool and quiet and secret. Cassandra always hid when she read, though she never quite knew why. It was as if she couldn't shake the guilty suspicion that she was being lazy, that surrendering herself so completely to something so enjoyable must surely be wrong."

I totally get this. Reading is such a guilty pleasure, isn't it? Essential, but still, I can relate to Cassandra's thoughts in this quote.

What about you?

Wherein I get lost at the Sonic.

So, I'm big into drinks now that I don't drink the DP anymore. I'm all about drinking punch and smoothies and all that. And so when I heard a commercial about Sonic's Limeade Chillers, I knew I'd be trying one in the very near future.

So, I pulled up to the Sonic, sans kids, yesterday, ready to order something cool and fruity and creamy and yummy. And I knew something on the menu fit the bill, but I didn't know what it was. I ended up ordering something, and that is when the trouble began. Because I've never been to the Sonic before, so the drive through didn't fill my expectation of drive-through. Instead of a window with an angsty teenager leaning out to grab my money, I saw a sign that said Stop here for Drive-through (or something to that effect). Add that to the fact that another sign advertised the very drink I wanted but had had not ordered, and I found myself in a big fat quandary. Where to pay? How to change my order? What? Where's the bored teenager? When? Ah!

I didn't feel right about stopping at the sign for obvious reasons (did you catch the sarcasm?). I drove all the way around to the other side of the Sonic, parked my car, and got out. Apparently, there isn't an inside at the Sonic, at least not one that a person can go into. And the car-hop person on roller skates wasn't helpful or amused when I told him I wanted to change the drive-through order to something else. I told him what I wanted and waited. I went back to my car and waited. I drove my car around the Sonic again to find the line to get back to the drive through now had approximately 45 cars in it. So I reversed my car back to the parking lot and parked again.

I finally sat on the picnic table outside the door and waited for my order. I kept apologizing to the car-hop kid, and he kept apologizing to the person inside who was making my chiller. After 15 minutes of me being a dumb old lady who doesn't know how to work a drive-though, I finally got what I ordered.

It tasted like heaven, but the obtaining of it was hell. I can't believe I couldn't understand something as simple as a drive through. I'm just glad that I had this experience at a location that isn't near my house. That way, when I go back (because of course I will be going back!) I won't have to show them how dumb I am. I'll just take whatever drive through they throw at me, and follow the directions on the signs.

But, yeah. I've thought about the resulting Strawberry Limeade chiller ever since I finished it. Must...go....back!!!

On the outside, looking in.

This week was my mom's birthday (happy birthday, Mom!). We always have a barbecue to celebrate with all the kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. Today was the day.

I admit that while I see my mom and sisters regularly, I don't see my dad like I want, or like I probably should. So we left a little earlier than normal for the family gathering to stop and see my dad. It was the first visit for Shane to my dad's new home, and my kids first visit in a long time.

We arrived just as my dad's sacrament meeting was letting out (they do a special one for the residents each Sunday). My Uncle Monte was walking out, and we got to stop and chat with him. Seeing my talking, laughing, communicating uncles is now a painful reminder of who my dad isn't anymore. It is possible to glimpse a little of the person he was while talking to his brothers. Their fidgety, long-winded, self-deprecating conversations are so familiar, but come from the wrong source. I want to rail against something, anything, that can explain why my dad is the one who fades each month that passes by.

We found Dad in the TV room after saying our good-bye's to Monte. He was sitting as close as possible to the TV blaring in Spanish, his long feet crossed out in front of him. He looked right at me as I went up to him. His brown eyes seemed to recognize me, and yet it didn't translate to the rest of his face. Our visit was full of me trying to brightly fill in with a conversation that was completely one-sided. He repeated a few things to me, but he wasn't there. I waited the whole visit for my dad to show, but he never did. Gone are even the days of a few months ago, when he would reach for me and want to hug me. Gone are the days of his tight hugs that desperately tried to convey his feelings. Gone are the days when he would say my name. I can't even get a flash of recognition at a mention of our old life together.

So I sit, with the rest of those who love him, on the outside. We look at him, we knock, we wait for him to answer, but we are kept outside. He can't let us in anymore. And it just makes me sad for all the times before, when I didn't know it was my last hug, or last utterance of my name, or last I love you. Sad for all the milestones that I'll soon lose: watching him gulp down a drink I give him, looking into his eyes and seeing him look back (however vague), watching him stand up and shuffle back to the chair in front of the Spanish TV.

Sad that I can't unlock the door for him and let him out, whatever "out" should mean.

On Running...

I like to think of myself as a runner. Not a fast runner, not an every-day-or-I'll-die runner, but a steady, 2 to 3 runs-per-week kind of runner. I like what it does for my head as much as it does for my body.

That being said, I haven't been much of a racer in the past few years. One year, in 2003, I did a 5 mile race in April, 10 mile in June, 1/2 marathon in August, 5k in September, and followed it up with a full marathon the next April. It was a lot of training, and it kind of burnt me out for races. Sure, I like the t-shirt, but the time it takes for training and racing seems like such a burden now. I think in the past 4 years, I've done 2 races. Ouch.

However, I think that the tide is changing. I found out about the Wasatch Back Relay in June, and I nearly salivated all over myself for the want of doing it. I made a decision that I will put a team together and do it next year. And, if I'm going to do a 24-hour race in a year, I might as well commit to doing the Salt Lake City 1/2 in April to get me ready.

So, I've found myself with 2 goals. And I'm writing them down here, in front of all you lovely people, so that maybe I'll actually be ready for said goals. To start, I did four miles on my treadmill just now. Armed with some new songs on my iPod (Rolling Stones "Start me up!", Eurythmics"Love is a Strange" and "Thorn in my Side" and two from the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack, among others), they went pretty fast. And nothing feels better than running to new songs, right? (In fact, most songs that I really like lately are songs that I think, "I can't wait to run to this song!" Is that weird?)

There you have it. My goals for the next year. Barring having a baby (which, if you ask my husband will never, ever happen) I'll be working towards these two things.

So, how about you? Any ideas or goals for the next little while? Anyone want to join my team for the WBR *cough, cough, amy, cough cough*?

Boats, babies, bangs, and a birthday

The past few days have been crazy.

First, we had an awesome day with some friends on their boat at Utah Lake. It was a perfect day, and we spent it playing in the water, skiiing, attempting to wake board, and tubing. My family had a boat growing up, and we spent many summer days on this very lake. I couldn't stop remembering all the times with my family as a kid. The last time I had boated there was a few days before I got engaged to Shane, almost 11 years to the day. Wow.

We had 4 kids, and they all were so good. I was worried my boys wouldn't get in the water; I shouldn't have. Once they figured out their life jackets would keep them up, they had a ball.

Then, my friend had her baby on the 2nd, and on Satuday she let me watch him for a half an hour while she ran an errand. It's been a long, long time since I've had a two-day old baby in my house. My boys were crazy for him. And the white blanket that he's laying on? I totally made it.

On the fourth, we went to the park to see the fireworks. Although there were some badly placed trees, we had a great time with good friends.

And no, I'm not stoned in this picture. Just really squinty.

The boys on the way home. I didn't know Thomas could still fall asleep in the car.

My birthday was awesome. So many awesome people made it special via the phone, blog, and facebook. My hubby made me a cake and brought me flowers, Thomas watched Ben while I ran in the morning, and I didn't have to work. How could a birthday be better?

So. How was your fourth of July weekend? Did you do anything fun?

34. And not getting younger.

I'm 34 today.


Dude, that is old. Half my life ago was one of my favorite summers, the summer I was 17. So, instead of talking about my 34 year old self, I'll remember some things about the year I was 17. Ah, watch Becky wax nostalgic.

1. I drove a big brown Ford Torino that had a pole shaped dent in the bumper, from hitting a big pole. I had inherited the car from my sister Amy. It took 2 tanks of gas to drive to and from Salt Lake.
2. I was doing a ballet summer camp at Ballet West with my friend Rebecca.
3. I lived in the basement of a house full of college girls, one of whom was Rebecca's step sister. She kept an annoyingly close eye on us, but we still managed to get away with a lot.
4. Every morning, we would walk to the university. She would count how many times I tripped over curbs and stuff (it was usually a lot).
5. I spent most of my nights with Rebecca watching the 1992 summer Olympics. Of course, we loved watching the gymnastics most of all.
6. But on some nights, we would sneak off to talk about our boyfriends and smoke at Sugar House Park.
7. Since I had a summer birthday, I'd never had a reason for a school class to sing happy birthday. So it was the first time I'd ever been sung to in class. I liked it more than I wanted to admit. Summer birthdays are a gyp.
8. I dated 3 different guys the year I was 17: Daron, Theo, and Gary. I don't know that any of them ever met my parents.
9. My best friends when I was 17 were Cindy, Rebecca, and Angie.
10. 17 meant that I was a senior in high school, even though I went to community college instead.
11. 17 was the year I went to my first Grateful Dead concert. A concert shouldn't be a milestone in someones life, but it was in mine. It was the beginning of an era that defined who I was. It was the fun era.
12. I had never tasted alcohol before I was 17.
13. I think 17 was about the perfect age.
14. And since I can't think of anything else good about being 17, I'll say this: I secretly love my birthday. It still carries a little bit of the magic that it did when I was young.
15. Part of my birthday present this year was a run on the Jordan River parkway with my hubby yesterday. My kids rode their bikes and scooters with us, and it was about as perfect a moment as I could ever have dreamed. I love running with Shane because we have the best talks.
16. I took today off. I like not working on my birthday.
17. I am glad I'm 34, because I feel stronger in my life than I ever have. I'm doing everything I want, and I know that good things are in store. So even though I loved 17, 34 looks pretty good too. And, it's much better than the alternative.

Some reasons yesterday sucked...

1. It was my first day back to work for the week.
2. I was really late getting out of the house.
3. I missed the train.
4. I was looking at a Time Traveler's Wife trailer on TV guide dot com, and it downloaded a virus.
5. On my work computer.
6. And my IT department was in a meeting.
7. All of them.
8. And none of them would answer the phone.
9. I had to tell my boss that stuff like porn dot com and adult dot com kept trying to come up on my (closed) internet browser, and that a foreign virus scanner was in my task bar, and it wouldn't go away.
10. I had to wait half an hour after I should have left work, waiting for the IT guy to fix my computer.
11. Which he did in about 10 minutes, once he got there.
12. My (work) computer was infected with 10 trojan/adware type viruses.
13. And lots of people knew about it.
14. And I really don't know what I pushed or did that was bad. I probably would have done it again because I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done otherwise.
15. And thus, people at my work probably think I'm looking at bad stuff on the internet, but really I'm just obsessed with finding TTW trailers that might be different from the one I've seen 10,000 times.
16. And, there is only one trailer. So it was all for nothing.
17. I was an hour late picking up my boys from the babysitter.
18. I put off my run until after dinner.
19. But then it was windy and yucky out, so I didn't get a run at all.

And that is why the last day of June 2009 really, really sucked.

Hello July.