Sunflowers.

I love sunflowers.  I might not let them take over my garden like some of my awesome friends, but I appreciate these happy harbingers of autumn.  As I ran past countless clumps of sunflowers on my run this morning, I remembered another morning 3 years ago when I took these pictures.

I also took this picture that same morning.

I took them as I drove out of my neighborhood on the way to the care center that would be my dad's home until a month and a half ago.  I just read the post and realized: it has been exactly 3 years and one day.

I can't see sunflowers this year without remembering taking these pictures and thinking of him going to live in that place. I didn't love him living there, but it was what had to happen.  I'm glad he isn't living there anymore.  I think about him a lot lately.  Any older gentleman of a certain height with a mustache suddenly becomes him.  I had to resist turning around and looking back at a guy in a car that I passed on today's run.  He would have thought I was being snotty because he was parked too far onto the sidewalk, but it would have been because I was checking that he didn't have my dad's face on him. 

I didn't look because I didn't want to be disappointed when it wasn't him.  I know I won't see him again in this life, but knowing that hasn't stopped me from looking. 

More thoughts about riding a bike.

After going on a long (for me) bike ride on Thursday, I decided I needed add a bit to my previous bike riding post. 

• It takes a lot less time for me to get ready to go on a bike ride than go on a run.  
• I don't know which side of the road I'm supposed to ride on. Into traffic? The same way as traffic? So confused....
• Also: do I have to stop at stop signs like the cars do?  If I don't, can I get pulled over?  I think it would scare the living crap out of my if a cop turned his sirens on me.
• I am a wimp about going down hill.  As in, I went 2 miles out of my way to avoid riding down a big hill by my house. I just imagine myself wiping out mid-hill and rolling down the rest of the way.  I'm a wimp.
• I saw about 400 runners during my bike ride (this might be an exaggeration.)  I felt like calling out to them "I'm really one of YOUR people! Don't let this bug-like helmet and two-wheeled vehicle trick you! I'm just saving my knees!" I'm pretty sure they would think I was crazy should I really say these things to them.
• The same hill that I am afraid of riding down handed me my ass twice when I tried to ride up it.  I had to walk the bike up.  Twice.  (Hanging my head in shame - but you should see this hill. I swear it's big.)
• It's amazing to see the same route I normally run from the vantage point of the bike.  
• Bikes really do give you a good leg workout. I thought my legs had turned to jello.  And I can let my thoughts wander in almost the same fashion as I can running, which results in the same mental break while saving my legs some pounding.
• It makes me appreciate running that much more.  I might slum with the bike every now and again, but I'm a runner at heart.

How do you feel about doing a different activity than you favorite one?  Can you appreciate it?  Or do you feel like an imposter?

August list

August was a busy month!  These are the things that I don't want to forget:

• So many things about my dad's funeral.  Like taking pictures with most of my first cousins.  There were 12 cousins, and the picture had 8. Not bad.  I think it's probably been 25 years since we've all been in a picture together, so it's pretty cool. I wish we had everyone.  Sorry, this picture is terrible...

 

• Coming home from my dad's funeral and getting on the treadmill and running my guts out. It was like a little celebration of life. Kind of like saying: I'm still alive!  I'll sweat a lot and breath hard for a while to prove it.
• Seeing so many of my dad's friends in the chapel.  From my view on the stand, I could see how full the church was and it made me so happy that so he was so loved.  
• I also don't ever want to forget the details of the day when he died.  The people who came, the conversations we had, the food we ate, where we all slept.  I didn't realize it until about a week ago, but the night he passed away, 5 of the 6 of us were all sleeping under the same roof.  Just the 5 of us. I am sure that hasn't happened for many, many years.  We were all so...united that day.  United to send off a great man to heaven.  It had a similar feeling to the way it felt the days that my babies were born.  Maybe that is why we love newborn babies so much - because they bring the essence of the spirit world with them and we get to feel that place again.  It felt the same way when my dad passed over. Incredible.
• I learned the value of pictures after I helped make a video slideshow for my the funeral.  Every moment you capture through your lens is one more that won't be forgotten, and will show that someone meant something to you.  So smile and deal with your picture being taken, okay?  It's for posterity.  And it will make your family very happy one day when you are gone.  End of lecture.

Ok, so some not-so-serious things I want to remember for Thomas:

• Thomas mastered handstands. He still refuses to roll out of it after he gets up, but he can now truly stand on his hands and put both feet together.  It makes me ex-gymnast heart happy to see my kids upside down.
• Thomas passed off his addition, subtraction, and multiplication flash cards at school.  Since he has worked on this task for 2 years, I figured enough was enough and started working on getting him to memorize the answers, instead of counting to get to the number.  A few years ago I taught him songs that went along with the number (7-14-21-28! Is sung to the Marine's "from the shores of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli" song.)  He finally realized (with my help!) that he couldn't count up to the number fast enough and he should memorize.  He still has a hard time with 6*7, 6*8 & 6*6, but we are doing much better.
• Thomas also started to read Harry Potter #4.  In what can only be called rashness, a few years ago I told him if he ever finished a book that had over 500 pages, I would give him $50.  I've not worried about having to pay up, but I might have to.  I've distracted him with the Shadow Children series, so he may not get back to Harry Potter for awhile. (insert evil laugh!!)
• He turned 10! He's so big.  I can't believe I have a 10-year-old.  I am old.

My kids with all their grandparents.

And things about Ben:

• Ben began to wear his hair in a faux-hawk.  He even has his own hair gel and uses it every day.  It is amazing how much that kid cares about how his hair looks - he's definitely not my kid.
• Ben also hosted a "Summer Party." I'm a mean mother and didn't let my kids have a kid birthday party. So I let Ben invite a few friends over for games and pizza.  It still gave me proverbial hives, but since it wasn't a birthday party, I didn't worry as much that I was ruining his life by throwing lame parties.  Although little boys don't care about the content of the party - just that there was a party in the first place.  I think they had fun.
• He likes to fight me everyday about doing his reading.  I think he does things just to be difficult.  I did check out Charlotte's Web to read outloud to him after I heard a Science Friday feature on EB White.  I just love the NPR.

Things about Shane:

• He built a fence on the side of the yard.  Now we just need a gate and it'll be done!

• Got the satisfaction of hearing me finally say that his phone is cooler than mine.  I was buying frames (see below!!) and if I had had a smartphone, I could have pulled up a coupon on my phone and got 25% more off. As it was, I had to drive to the library to print the coupon.  It might have been the best moment of his life (might!)

Other random things:

• We bought a printer! It has a scanner and a fax and a copier!  We don't have to go to the neighbor's house anymore to print school work and church talks anymore.  Wahoo!  We are grown-ups now for sure. Although, the kids like to photocopy their feet and their faces and stuff, so yeah, we still act childishly.
• We went to my great-niece's baby blessing.  Oakley is such a cute baby, and it was fun to see everyone for a happy event.

My sister Suzette with Oakley, who wasn't happy at the moment.

• Framed a family picture AND my only wedding picture larger than a 4x6 (which I only have because my sweet mother-in-law took pity on us and gave us one of the ones she ordered!) and hung them in my entryway.  It looks so awesome!

The picture. I photoshopped out an electrical pole which was coming out of Shane's head.

Entryway before pictures

Entryway after hanging pictures

My wedding picture

• I started training for the Provo Halloween Half-marathon.  The shirt is (and this is a quote from my  sister) "Bad-ass" which is enough of a reason to run, right?  Plus I'm going to come up with a costume, and nothing is more fun than running in a costume (provided that the costume is not annoying!)
• Added some new music to my iPod:  AC/DC, Bob Dylan (thanks to The Help), and Foster the People (Pumped up Kicks - which is a jazzy tune which happens to be about a kid getting killed for his tennis shoes - it's a little disturbing, but so kicky!).
• Books:  (I blogged about the best ones already) Uglies, part of Pretties (but I lost interest), and currently rereading The Help (after seeing the movie with my awesome friend Melanie.)

How was your August?  I have to admit, I love this September weather.  It's cool in the mornings!  I love it.