Third Quarter Covid 19

It's the 9th month of Covid 19. Seems like it's time to make a few lists!

World Events

1. JOE BIDEN defeated Trump. A few times, actually. There have been a few recounts in a few states that just keep yielding more votes for Biden. Can't wait for Trump to leave in 50 days. 
2. I wore every bracelet I own for good energy for Biden on election day. We spent election night at soccer practice, watching the returns for Trump looking like he would do it again. We left soccer and drove home in silence, the weight of the idea of 4 more years under the inanity nearly overwhelming me. We got home and the TV returns were more promising. I watched the states all turn towards Biden as the week went on - Arizona, Georgia, and Pennsylvania. The red mirage faded! Then Saturday morning that the Pennsylvania lead got statistically unbeatable - they called it for Biden as we watched MSNBC. It was a wonderful, joyous moment! 
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. The US elected a woman for Vice President.
4. We also continue to have no strategy for the Covid pandemic, no assistance from the government to feed or help house those who have lost their income because of Covid, nor a plan to keep us all safe until the vaccines come later this month.
5. There are 2 vaccines that will arrive this month.

Halloween and Thanksgiving recap

1. Other than decorating for Halloween, there wasn't any celebration of it this year.
2. We spent the late afternoon/early evening at soccer practice (we were preparing to go to Las Vegas for a tournament that eventually got cancelled). We didn't have any trick or treaters, which was sad. We spent the evening watching TV.
3. The day after Halloween we put up our trees. They got decorated a week later. The decor was a bit schizophrenic until after Thanksgiving when all the decorations changed from Halloween/Harvest/Christmas to all Christmas.
4. I've decorated 4 trees. I keep buying mini ones at Target, along with ornaments that make me feel joyous. There's a tiny one I put upstairs with mom's fairy decorations and some cute stuffed animal ones I got at Target.
   
   
   
5. Thanksgiving was quiet. Vonnay visited for a few minutes on Wednesday. I made rolls and 3 pies (lemon meringue, pecan, and pumpkin) on Thanksgiving Eve
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. I messaged with a few friends in the morning. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and then our wonderful next door neighbors brought over a little pumpkin cake and a center piece. Their generosity pulled me out of my gloom and I had a great day!
7. Shane and I ran a 5k around the neighborhood/Lodestone Park
8. We ate around 4:30. Thomas claimed the rolls were like candy. We all tried the yams. I tried the fruit salad. Boys refused to eat the beans. I enjoyed Vonnay's cranberry relish.
9. We ate pie around 8, still so stuffed we could hardly stand it
10. 
11. Reminisced a bit about last year, when we ate together at the buffet in Las Vegas. That was a treasured memory, funny as that sounds. I was glad to not do the drive, but I wanted to travel again this year, especially with how weird everything is with my family

Therapy updates (these are mostly vague intentionally)

1. Had some eye opening appointments, one about bullies in my life. 
2. I'm trying to find the grey spaces in my life. Some of the characters in the black are ones that I want to move to the grey space, where I can take what they do less personally and just wish them well
3. I did the thing I never thought I would. It was as ugly as I worried it would be. Still figuring out what to do in the aftermath, but it's a relief in almost all the ways, but weighs on me/fucks with my head a lot still.
4. Had the appointment about the salt, and the cliff that can't hurt me with its shadow. Salt has savor and in small doses makes life sweeter
5. I'm trying to remember to walk in line with my people in the rich dark vibrant tropical landscape with the volcano in the distance

Books I've been reading/listening to

1. Magic Lessons - Alice Hoffman - Loved it so much
2. 19th Wife - was ok. It was fun to read with Cindy and Rebecca
3. Harry Potter #1
4. Disloyal
5. Melania and Me
6. Caste
7. Cassandra Speaks

Things we've done in pandemic quarter 3

1. 2 Trips to Desolation trail to snow hike with all of us and the dog. I love these little hikes, even though there hasn't been much snow.
   
2. Dinner with Eugenia and Fred
3. Soccer practices at Real Academy
4. State cup tournament in North Salt Lake - Ben had some great goals
5. Library opened for in-person visits
6. Fabric store visits were mostly for Halloween fabric. I finished the mini quilts for Janna, Cindy, Rebecca, and Camie. I got most of the Halloween panel quilt put together. A few masks. Want to make some tree skirts for the mini trees. 
7. Thomas grew a beard for No Shave November, and finished his Math 1050 class!
   
   
   
8. Ben started making chicken during his almost-all-of-November online school experience.
9. I got my laptop and 2nd screen for WFH. So much more efficient! 
   
10. Spent a day in the office - so strange to be there. I left my little acorn tops from 2019 for the end of the pandemic/return to work.
    
11. Got to order Skirt Sports stuff again! 
12. Bucket got her cyst cut off. She looks so much better!

Places we've been eating

1. Zao (one will open soon in Jordan Landing)
2. Noodles and Company
   
3. Rumbi (on Thursday nights with Ben driving)
4. JCWs in Herriman - I'm a sucker for their turkey avocado
5. Costa Vida - the delicious chili verde returned in October/November
6. Buffalo Wild Wings a few times
7. Jersey Mikes

Workout stuff

1. Need to do more Yoga
2. Speed/intervals on Sundays on the big treadmills are my favorite, followed by a cooldown 10 minute run and some strength by the mirrors
   
3. 
   Ran a few times on Grizzly Way in the leaves.
4. Remembered how much I love watching Willow get a bite of snow when it's snowy and we are running together
5. Am really enjoying the Peloton app. it's been my companion since almost day 1 of the pandemic

No one notices the pianist until she makes a mistake

During one of the early weeks after I was called as the secretary in young women, I was listening to the young women sing our one verse, a cappella hymn. I'm sure it was a joyous noise for the Lord to listen to, if not the room at large (seriously - try and sing with young girls. Their voices make noises that older voices just can't. It's difficult at best.)

I had the best idea I've had in a long time. Or maybe it was the worst. Being in a new ward meant that we we singing sacrament hymns to the piano, because most of our organists lived in the section of the ward that didn't stay with us. It also meant that Nicole, the lady who was playing the piano, learned how to play the organ in two weeks. In our young women class, every now and then one of the girls would volunteer to play top hand, but they hadn't practiced, and with them doing everything in the meeting (conducting, praying, leading the music, starting the YW theme, etc.) I didn't think it was fair to ask a girl to play off the cuff, without having time to practice. Inspired by Nicole, I decided that I should pick a hymn each week and learn the top hand to play for the girls. I ran my idea past the young women president and she gave me approval.

I became the unoffical young women pianist (snort!)

So here I am, three months later. I've decided it's the silver lining for my calling. I can't tell you how nervous I get when I play. Most of the time, even if I have practiced playing both hands, I can't manage the stress of playing both hands while people are singing along. But I'm learning and improving so much. I don't think it's anything I've done to get better; I think it's just a blessing that I'm getting since I'm playing for the girls. But whatever the source of my improvement, I'll take it.

Years ago, my BFF Melanie gave me a book filled with simplified Christmas music. Each year since, I've tried to play O Holy Night, with varying degrees of success. This year was the first year I've been able to get through the whole song with two hands. It makes me so happy! I also practiced We Three Kings (a much easier song) and was able to get through it with two hands most of the time. And for church, I played Silent Night, Angels We Have Heard on High, and Joy to the World.

It makes me happy. I feel silly, putting myself forward each week as the pianist. Because really, no one at church really pays attention to the pianist unless they make a mistake - which I do frequently. I've convinced myself that the girls roll their eyes at my playing, which probably isn't true, but I think it every time I miss a note. But I keep playing because I want to learn. I want this little hobby that makes me happy.

Christmas 2014

I love, love Christmas. This was a great year. A few things I want to remember:

• Watching Elf (I love Buddy the Elf, he makes everyone feel special and has no guile or ill-will towards anyone. I wish I could be more like him.) while I made our traditional Christmas Eve dinner of french dip sandwiches, brown rice, and clam dip. Ben even said, "Great dinner, Mom," as he got up from the table. A true Christmas miracle.
• Laughing with Shane's dad and grandma on Christmas Eve as we visited in her kitchen. I didn't ever think we would have Christmases like that again. I'm so grateful.This picture is priceless.

• Visiting the mall, just because, on Christmas Eve day. I love to be out in the hustle and bustle, especially when I know I'm only there for fun, not for necessity. We found a shirt for Shane to wear on Christmas (because he likes to wash his clothes before he wears them, so he rarely has a Christmas shirt.) We attempted to cash in on some sub-$2 gas at Costco, but the line was insane.
• Watching Shane play with his toy: a Keurig 2.0 coffee maker that his friend gave him for Christmas. 
• Had a Coke (or two or three) for the first time since Halloween.
• Ben's excitement when he saw his Christmas presents. He jumped for joy on more than one present. He didn't sleep at all Christmas Eve, and tried to get up at 1, 3:30, and 4:45, before succeeding at 6am. Yawn.
  
• Observing Thomas. He understands Christmas now. But he still gets excited, and is a good kid about not letting on about the gig. He got one of his big presents early - like October early, so it I kept wondering if he was sad, or felt disappointed. But he rallied and had a great Christmas. I still remember Christmas when I was in 8th grade - I got a brown leather jacket that I can still smell, and some green stretchy pants and a big sweatshirt - but what I wanted was a Nintendo so I could play Mario Brothers like my friend Amber. I still remember how sad I was but trying to not let on. Christmas is hard when you grow up.

• Eating breakfast with Shane's mom and stepdad.

• Driving to my mom's in a beautiful snowstorm.
• Having a nice, teary, one-sided conversation  with my dad in the quiet of his backyard. The snow was falling so softly on the trees. He would have loved the way they looked. I could feel him right there. I'm glad he had some time on Christmas, and that I found a quiet place to feel him.

• Driving home in the second worst Christmas Day storm we have ever weathered.
• Taking silly bow pictures with my sisters. I love them!

• Admiring the beautiful Nativity set my mom gave us.
• Thinking about the fact that next Christmas, it could all be so very, very different. My mom is having a pretty serious and complex back surgery in January, and things might have to change. I feel so lucky to have spent all my Christmases (except for one!) in my mom's home, with my family. I love them all so much.
• Sitting with most of the boy crowd in the living room during dinner at my mom's. All my boys, Amy's sons and husband, and my oldest nephew Zack, and my great nephews all chatted together over the traditional ham, potatoes, green bean casserole, Brussels spouts casserole, and homemade rolls.
• Embarrassing Thomas with an inappropriate conversation with half of the family. It's so fun to embarrass teenagers. Just mention their parent's having sex and they lose all composure.I love it. And my older sister is really good at it.
• Being zen about it all. I didn't let anything get to me (or I tried really, really hard.) I didn't even rush everyone out the door the way I usually do. Or fussed about what was going on in the kitchen. It's true that the cat throwing up noises that Ben made (nonstop!) in the car almost put me over the edge, as did the hustle and bustle before dinner, but I did it. Oooommmm.

• Wearing the running skirt, Deathly Hallows necklace, and slippers Shane bought me all morning. I've asked for slippers for years and years and he finally bought me some. The running skirt I had him buy in September when they were on sale, and the Deathly Hallows pendant was a wild card that I threw at him at the last minute after I realized how much I was envying Amy's. (Every time I think of it I think Amy's story about library patron who saw hers. Amy, you should put the quote in the comments so I can get it right!)
• Perfecting the Christmas morning pull-apart rolls, which have been slightly undercooked for years and years until I realized that you have to put them in the pantry, instead of the fridge, overnight. Thanks, Pinterest!

Merry Christmas! I hope yours was lovely.

Favorite things 5: Kid art as decorations.

I love having kids in elementary school. I love the art projects they bring home complete with glitter and handprints and the smell of Elmers glue. (These kids are lucky - we always had to use paste when I was a kid. Blech - I still remember how much I hated getting my fingers sticky with paste. Just the mention of paste and I am sitting again in my kindergarten classroom, admiring Caleb S. who ate paste, among other things. But I digress.)

One of my favorite things to do for the past three Christmases has been to decorate the tile that goes around our fireplace. I've saved the art projects Ben and Thomas have done each year and I hang them up. Seeing their efforts warms my heart.

But my favorite are the wreaths they made in preschool the year they were three (2004 for Thomas, 2008 for Ben.) Their teacher did the same craft year after year - a green wreath decorated with 5 or 6 white handprints and a poem: This will help you remember when I have grown quite tall, that I once was very little and my hands were very small. I love those hand prints. I've considered cutting the wreaths apart and making their hand prints into ornaments of some sort but I just can't bring myself to do it. They are faded and the backs are covered in tape, but I will hang them up year in and year out as long as I can. The evidence of their once smallness is bittersweet. It makes me remember when they needed me in such powerful ways. I miss being needed like that.

Thomas's

Ben's

Favorite things 4: My hometown

The other night on iTunes, they had a selection of 80's songs for only 69 cents. I played each one - Alphaville Forever Young, Eurythmics Sweet Dreams, Bette Midler Wind Beneath my Wings. As I played each one Shane and I would start to sing. And I would start to feel what that song meant to me when it played. For good or bad, I felt things that I couldn't explain or share, but just feel and remember. 



In sort of the same vein, I could never, ever live in my hometown. Like certain songs that I will always avoid when they come on the radio, living there wouldn't work. Just imagining the people who I would run into at the grocery store or see while taking the kids to the dentist makes me cringe. But I do enjoy visiting there, like I did today. I spent a very enjoyable day with my mom and Amy setting up and decorating my mom's tree. I love those ladies so much.


After we decorated, I set off on a run. The past two times I've run in my hometown I took the same path which led me towards the canyon, over to my high school, past my elementary and then home. But I recently saw a picture of my grandma's house which is also in my hometown. One of my cousins bought it years ago and raised her two sons there. I don't think I have been there in almost 20 years. So I decided today that I wanted to run the direction that would take me past grandma's house.

I was not disappointed in my route. I am always amazed at how much smaller places are now than they used to be. In less than a mile, I ran through 20 years of memories - the corner that used to have a small store on it that we called The Little Store where we would buy candy and do ceramics, the street where the friend I had in 7th grade lived, the houses where my oldest sister lived the first few years of her married life, the gas station that I drove to the very first time I drove in my life - all in .88 of a mile. Bizarre!

At a little over 2.5 miles, I spent a couple of moments at my grandma's house, looking at the giant trees and the carport that look exactly how I remember them. I pictured my grandma raising her three sons there, I pictured my dad living there, I pictured all of my cousins and sisters gathered in the living room for Christmas Day. When I left, a few blocks more took me past the house where my best friend from kindergarten lived (it's all boarded up now - so sad! It was the house that was shown in Touched By an Angel back when it was on.) I ran past the funeral home where my dad's viewing was held, and my old orthodontist's office, and the space where my family lived while our house was being built (the house has been torn down now.) All that history in a mere 4 miles.

I like not living there. Similar to how I want some songs to always remind me of him, or of her, or of that one special/terrible/life changing experience, I want those places to always remind me of my  former life rather than my current one. I don't want life to water down the feelings. I want it always and forever to be home.

Favorite things 3: Grandma's ornaments

Last year, Shane's grandma gave us some crocheted ornaments for our tree. She worked on them for months and brought them to us the week of Thanksgiving so that we could decorate our tree with them. She is never afraid to pick up her crochet hook and make something beautiful and lasting, and I love her for it.

The majority of the ornaments are snowflakes, but there are also umbrellas, fans, bells, and even an angel. This year I used them all over the house - on the garland I put on the railing, over the fireplace, hanging from bookshelves. They are everywhere and they make me so happy.

 I got this idea off of Pinterest. Kinda lopsided, though...

Aren't ornaments that have a history and a link to someone else your favorite? They are mine!

Favorite Things....

A few years ago, my friend Melanie did a series of Christmas posts that showed her favorite things at Christmas. Because I am a copy cat at heart, and for want of some cheery Christmas posts of my own, I am following Melanie's lead. This year for Christmas I want to post something every day that I love, something that is one of my favorite things.

And: I'm going to try and keep it simple. A picture, a few words (or many, depending on my mood), and boom! Done. (Because you know how good I am at keeping things simple, right?)

This is my first favorite thing:

It doesn't look like much, and honestly, it's tiny and easily overlooked. I bought it for our very first Christmas. That year, we borrowed a 3 foot fake tree from my sister and I covered it in 500 Christmas lights. It was the year I bought the garland that used to go on my railing at my old house and now goes on the mantle in my new house. We had about 20 ornaments (mostly bought from Harmon's while grocery shopping.) I loved our decorations and was proud of our efforts.

But, I was troubled that nothing represented the true meaning of Christmas. One of my favorite memories of Christmas was getting out my mom's porcelain nativity every year - her baby Jesus was not attached to his manger, and I always loved holding the tiny baby and then fitting him into his bed. In our newly married poverty, I didn't have the means or the confidence to buy a nativity of my own. So, one day I was in the Deseret Book in the ZCMI mall and I found this little one piece nativity. I was happy that I had in a tiny way invited the baby Jesus into our Christmas celebrations. i added him to our decorations and it's been with us ever since.

It's funny how the tiny things, the unplanned simple events end up meaning the most. I have another more traditional nativity with the animals and the angels and shepherds that I set up each year. And for all the memories that nativity has, I still feel partial to this first one, the one that came out of a true desire in my heart. Most people would overlook it, but it brought me joy that first Christmas. 

Christmas: Report

How was your Christmas? I'm sure it was every bit as wild/frustrating/fun/remarkable as ours. But, in the spirit of remembering all the little things, here's some stuff I want to make note of:

• My kids were crazy over presents. I spent most of Christmas Eve being mad at them because they went rogue and opened up presents at 10am without permission (sarcasm is not permission and, by the way, is not super effective for a 6 year old.) Therefore no Christmas Even jammies for them. But it was kind of okay, because there jammies were character jammies and I didn't relish the thought of character jammy pictures the next day. One day I'll laugh about it.
• We spent Christmas Eve Eve with friends and Christmas Eve with other friends and both nights were full of fun and laughs and yummy food.
• I was amazed at my friend Melanie who can cook an entire pan of sweet potatoes in less than a half an hour with a singular stick of butter. That lady can do anything in the kitchen. I had my doubts but she did it and the sweet potatoes were perfect. Hats off to you, Mel!
• Our reading of Luke 2 was just a little more exciting this year - Ben read a few verses. Yay for first graders!
• I loved having Christmas on Sunday. I had two moments that were amazing in church - one was a very touching testimony by someone I didn't know, and another a piano duet by two young women in in the ward. Amazing.
• I made 7 dozen rolls, 1 bundt chocolate cake, 4 dozen Swedish butter cookies, pull aparts, and breakfast casserole.
• It was a technology year with each member of my household receiving something new to waste time on. Yay us.
• My favorite gift?  A bracelet from Shane's mom. I haven't taken it off since the moment I opened it.
• I met my newest great-nephew. He is so sweet!
• Took a picture of all my sweet great-nieces and nephews born this year.

See, I've already forgotten so many things that I wanted to say. But I loved Christmas. And I loved when it was over. I took my tree down yesterday but left up all the other decorations. I'll have a hard time taking down the garland and the nativities, but the tree was just too sad without any presents around it.

What do you want to remember from this year? Write it down before you forget!

This and that...Christmas Prep Edition

This: I want to remember - Friday night Thomas and I went to Target to do the kid's brother gifts for each other. We were walking out of the store and Thomas slipped his hand into mine and held it. It was such a great moment - he's teetering on the verge of Teenagedom, and I know enough to treasure them.

That: watched the Glee Christmas special and was so amazed. They read the scripture that you hear on Charlie Brown Christmas - Luke 2:11 "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." Two of the characters took back their iPods and earrings and donated the money to charity. We decided that we could take back a few of the presents we had bought as "filler presents." Kids these days have so much! It was awesome to recognize that bigger isn't necessarily better.

This: I'm trying hard to do some different things exercise-wise. I've started doing the workouts on bodyrock.tv. The hosts are a bit narcissistic and they do moves that I can only do in my dreams, but I feel really good doing them. Plus they are doing a 12 days of Christmas series, so every few days the release a new workout. Kind of fun to shake things up. And I swear I feel less out of breath during my runs, which makes me happy.

That: We spent Sunday putting up a tree at my dad's grave with my family. I loved seeing my sisters, brother-in-law, nieces and nephews. We had a lot of fun and it was so nice to spend some time doing something for my dad.

This: I also spent Sunday with our dear Grandma Margaret, who turned 90 today. She is so amazing and I love her a lot. I took a picture of her holding her newest great-granddaughter who is only 2 months old. The manager brought her a handful of Olive Garden mints at the end of dinner and told her happy birthday. Grandma's face lit up and she told him how much she loved eating there. It was a great moment.

That: Shane's other grandma made us over 40 crocheted snowflakes and bells to decorate our tree. I have them everywhere. They are so beautiful and I can't believe she would make something so beautiful for us. She even made us an angel to go on the top of our tree.

Do you have some this and thats that you want to remember about this year? I can't believe Christmas is only 6 days away.

The Christmas card/photo: A progression

Growing up, I can't remember ever sending Christmas cards. Every now and again, after a particularly active holiday greeting card year, my dad would make a list of who had sent us a card and make it a goal to send Christmas cards to those individuals. But handy list or not, we still never sent them. I kind of felt bad for those who sent us cards because they were pretty much SOL on chances of getting one back.

But, at the end of the 20th century (or, in other words, the first year Shane and I were married, 1999) I decided I would send Christmas cards. I got out the address book I had gotten as a wedding present almost a year before and filled with various names and addresses and went down the list. I sent cards to all my sisters, my parents, Shane's two sets of parents, various uncles and aunts, friends, and my bunko lists. That year set a precedence for the annual Christmas card.

And even though back then, we didn't always send a picture with the Christmas card, I have always made sure to have a picture of our family at Christmas time and/or a Christmas card photo. Here for your perusal are the visual evidence of our family growing by people, years, wrinkles, and grey hairs.

1997
We had been dating for about 5 months. I can remember I was writing a paper on my future mother-in-law's computer while Shane watched a Saturday Steeler game and did his laundry. We were babies - I was 22, Shane was 26.

1998
Less than 1 month before we got married. This is the last known sighting of Amy's pink dress (Amy, I wish I knew where it was!)

1999
Ah, weren't we cute? Not really newlyweds, but our first married Christmas, and the only one we spent in our apartment. I had a ball decorating that year.

2000
Our cats were our kids back then. I spent most of this Christmas spraying my tree with a concoction that would keep our cats out of the tree. All it did was make me sick - I was barely prego with Thomas here.

2001
First Christmas with Thomas. He was such a cute baby! This was the year I soaked off his cast because I couldn't stand having a baby with a cast one more day. He got another one 2 days later, but I didn't car.

2002
I am not sure what was going on with my skin at the time. And the hair was way short for me.

2003
Thomas is holding a stuffed cat named Sianna. He did everything with this cat for over a year.

2004
I was large with child/Ben in this one. My last Christmas in my 20's; sniff.

2005
Baby Ben, 4 year old Thomas (I am not sure what was up with my hair; I thought it looked good?)

2006
5 year old Thomas, 1 year old Ben. Man, we all look so stiff and formal. Lighten up already. And I miss that sweater - I used to adore the J. Jill catalog.

2007
This might be my favorite card we ever did. I love that both my kids are little, but kind of big, too. Plus it was a snapshot that just turned out so good that I couldn't not use it as the Christmas card, right?

2008
7 year old Thomas, 3 year old Ben. We snapped this one right after work one evening, and you can tell. The kids all look dazed, my whispy hairs are flapping in the breeze, and Shane just wants it to be over as fast as possible.

2009 
Last Christmas in our old house. Notice the return of the (real) cat.

2010
First Christmas after moving. Ben has an ongoing knack for putting holes in his jeans.

And today: I'm not super happy with this one, but my family was D.O.N.E. done by the time I snapped this. I got two more (one with Ben's head cut off and another with Shane's eyes closed and Thomas holding the cat (again!) so this was my only option. Eh.

I am old. I found a long long grey hair last night. I mean long. I am closer to 40 than 30. Shane is 40 (but still way hott, right?) My kids are 10 and 6. But, we are together and it's only December 10th and I've ordered the Christmas cards. Not bad, not bad.

Wow, this little post has taken me all night. But I wonder: How have your Christmas photos changed over the years? If you find some oldies but goodies, post them and let me know. I'd love to see your latest and greatest!