Saturday, February 6, 2010

A new form of claustrophobia...

You are all probably sick of listening to my inadequacy in the arena of appearance, but it seems to have reared its ugly head again.  But in a new way.  What's not to love about new ways of making a fool of yourself?

This week, my favorite brand of cosmetics had a free gift with purchase.  I'm a sucker for free gifts, so it wasn't much of a decision to buy it.  I went in with a semi-formed plan: get the mascara, check out the prices on lip gloss and/or moisturizer, and call it good. 

After trying on 3 different shades of lip gloss under the watchful eyes of a sales clerk with no success and declaring that the $45 moisturizer was "more than I wanted to spend" (gah! Did I really admit that to the prettily made up be-nose-jeweled salesgirl?) I found myself desperately seeking something to buy to meet the required minimum purchase.  I told the lady to let me browse by myself.  Without other people's eyes watching every move, I ended up finding a lip gloss that I loved.  I noticed it seemed to dry really fast and didn't feel very lip-glossy, but since I liked the color so much I still thought I was home free.

I had put on some of the lip gloss I bought while I was at the store. Right after I got home, I hurried to run before I watched my neighbor's babies. After sweating for a half hour on the treadmill, I ate some lunch, played with the kids, drank some water. Through all of this, the lip gloss was perfectly in place.  Huh. 

I didn't panic until I got into the shower.  I scrubbed my face and lips with soap (not very sophisticated, I know, but it usually works!), and noticed how they felt a little crumbly. Huh.  I washed them again. And again for good measure.  When I got out, I looked in the mirror and half of the lip gloss was still perfectly in place. On my lips.  How does this happen?

It was at this point I started to panic.  I was sure that it would never come off.  In fact, it made me a little claustrophobic.  I tried some Vaseline. It didn't make a dent. I tried a washcloth. Nothing.  I finally used some of the eye-makeup remover that I got with my free gift to remove it.  Later, after reading a bit on the internet, I discovered that they recommend a certain type of makeup remover for this lip gloss.  I seem to have bought some high-potency lip gloss but not made it home with the equally powerful antidote.

I admit that I felt some gratitude that this time around, I only made a fool out of myself in front of myself. But it was disconcerting to realize I might spend the rest of my life wearing royal red lip gloss on half of my lips.  Maybe other girls know that you have to get the oil-based makeup remover to remove lip gloss these days.  But I didn't.  I usually leave most of mine on my water bottle at work.  I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore.

Have you ever gotten trapped in your cosmetics?


Britt said...

I have never heard of a lip gloss with such endurance! What the heck is that stuff made of??

Sometimes I feel trapped by my make-up because I feel like I HAVE to wear it to cover my acne scars, and while I'm wearing it I can't hug or kiss anyone in my family because I will get make-up on them. Then I continue to feel trapped because no matter how well I wash my face, my mascara always lingers a bit.

Jeff & Kayci said...

You make me laugh! I'm sorry this happened to you though. One would think the sales lady, trying to sell you as much as she can, would have suggested this antidote to you...guess not:) thanks for sharing even though you were embarrassed! Love ya!

Apryl said...

$45 moisturizer? I can barely handle paying $10 for mine!
Also, I got some long lasting lipgloss stuff before (from Target though, not anything fancy), and it stays on for DAYS. It's so creepy.

Anonymous said...

I want lip gloss like that. Will you please share the name and brand? Thanks!

Becky K said...

Estee Lauder, Double Wear lip duo.

I like the Royal Red, but that's just me!