Corona Virus Lists: A Post for the Ages - March - May 2020

Things we ate that I cooked:

1. Breakfast for dinner
2. Pork fajitas (cookie sheet baked)
3. Hamburgers
4. Hawaiian chicken
5. Chorizo burritos (with ground beef)
6. Chicken with little potatoes
7. BBQ chicken with fried rice
8. Hershey's chocolate chip cookies
9. Banana bread
10. Brownies

Frequent Takout items

1. Costa Vida (was sad when the chili verde went away - I want my chili verde nachos back)
2. Buffalo Wild Wings (Doordash)
3. Zao 
4. Village Baker
5. Zupas
6. Apollo Burger
7. Papa Murphy's
8. Chick-Fil-A

Books I read

1. Untamed
2. Welcoming the Unwelcome
3. Where the Crawdad's Sing
4. Circe
5. Spinning Silver
6. Getting Past your Past
7. The Path of Liberation (on going)

Zoom Meeting sources

1. Book club meeting with some of my dearest friends
2. Team meetings
3. Buddhist Meditation group meetings
4. Visit with a sister and a few nieces

What we watched

1. Finished Lost for 3rd time (2nd with Ben)
2. Bear Grylls 
3. Shark Tank 
4. Last Dance documentary
5. SGN with Jon Krasinksky
6. CNN/Morning Andrew Cuomo press conferences
7. 50 First Dates
8. Modern Family finale
9. Finished This is Us
10. Some Kind of Wonderful
11. When Harry Met Sally
12. Tiger King (only 1 episode)

Beverages we enjoyed

1. So. Much. Coffee
2. Hot and then iced vanilla latte with amaretto from High Point Coffee (on my way to the fabric store!)
3. Mike's Margaritas
4. Lime Pilsner
5. Birthday Suit 
6. Rogue - Just a Pinch

Types of masks I made

1. 1/2 inch elastic cut down to 1/4 with disastrous results with 3 pleats (geisha cat, Annie Oakley, mom's stash)
2. Hair band (disastrous) 3 pleats
3. Cut open thick-hair hair ties (3 pleats, soccer balls and field fabric, Jeep fabric, Dodge fabric, plain for 1 missionary)
4. Curvy no pleat with regular hair ties (more Jeep, more Dodge, soccer balls)
5. Double folds fabric ties yellow N95 covering for Suzette

Other stuff I sewed - mostly still unfinished

1. 60 Degree diamond top (currently still being quilted)
2. finished UFOs from 3 years ago (put log cabin borders have, need to border, bind, and quilt)
3. triangle hexies
4. fairy star - need to quilt and bind

Stuff I like to wear

1. Callia blue tights
2. 2 Callia sport bras
3. Lagoon print LBS
4. Title Nine tanks
5. Kuhl shorts
6. Various skirt sports skirts - almost every day, different skirt. 
7. Vacay Jaguar
8. Tree of Life tee
9. Blue Title Nine hoodie
10. running shoes for walking Willow
11. My moon phases Alex and Ani bracelet every day

Places I went every week at some point

1. Harmons
2. Sam's
3. Pine Needles fabric store
4. District for takeout
5. Lowes
6. Jordan Landing for Takeout
7. High Point Coffee
8. Costco several times
9. Rarely Walmart
10. Therapy/EMDR (online)

Places I ran

1. Trail
2. Around sunken park
3. Daybreak Lake
4. to Discount Tire

Types of workouts

1. Peloton Yoga
2. Peloton Outdoor runs
3. Walk Willow
4. Run with Audio
5. Sunday Hills walks

What I want to remember

1. Working at the kitchen table
2. Looking so forward every night to dinner that we made a calendar of dinners for 2 week periods, including takeout
3. So much cooking and actually enjoying it
4. Everyone being home all the time.
5. Forgetting a mask and covering my face with a hoodie or my arm
6. Zoom meetings in my front room and at the desk downstairs
7. Yoga in the front room
8. The earthquake/aftershocks
9. Getting toilet paper from an acquaintance who worked at Costco and feeling grateful
10. Getting excited over finding my favorite butter, any flour, and frozen avocado
11. Mid morning getting "ready" for the day - running skirt, tank top, hoodie, sports bra - and wavy hair from braid/humidity
12. Mid morning walks with Shane and Willow
13. Evening trips to park to let Willow chase the frisbee
14. The hawks (or are they falcons?) courting at the park
15. Ben working out at park
16. Thomas doing online school - finishing his second semester at SLCC
17. Thomas's friends coming home and a few going back out to stateside missions
18. Thomas doing maintenance at his work, then missing a month, then going back a few days before they opened again
19. Ben doing online school from his bed in the late morning, coming down to scan a math page, then eating waffles
20. Dog self wash 
21. late bedtimes
22. Marco polos with Camie
23. Marco polos with Rebecca, Cindy, Janna
24. Sewing in the evenings, making masks and finishing projects before Ben went downstairs
25. New birth control
26. Missing the library
27. Getting our side fence
28. rebuilding the back deck, lots of solar lights
29. watching all the neighborhood trees every day go from bare branches to flowers and leaves
30. Finding a random allium in my bleeding heart
31. Blueberry yogurt with blueberries and granola
32. Facetime with the Bells a few Saturday evenings
33. A lot of online shopping

Re-entry: What I bring verses what I take away

“Hello! Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me…is there anyone at home?” Pink Floyd – Comfortably Numb

It’s been a very long time since I’ve blogged. I don’t feel bad about that, other than I wish I’d been able to document the past year better. Although I write a little every day on a calendar journal I have, I don’t always capture the whole picture, be it little things that are too many words to write longhand, or the normal things (for right now) that I think will always be the same so why mention, or big things that just are too much to capture at night when I’m tired and I just want a few minutes more to spend in a book.

In July, we went to Hawaii. I’ve been wanting to do a big trip this summer to commemorate our family before it “changes” and we landed there. I don’t know what else to say about that, other than it was wonderful, horrible, frustrating, gorgeous, memorable, busy, heartbreaking, and spiritual all at once.

I had thought we would go to Europe this summer. All I wanted last year was to take my family to London. I was pissed I couldn’t do that, not actively angry, but just mad at life that it wasn’t possible. Then late in June a friend from elementary school shared pics from her Hawaiian vacation and I knew I needed to go there. Her photo shoot of her family on the beach, of zip lining on the north shore, of ringing a bell at a Buddhist temple called to me so strongly. So I brazenly copied her and yet had my very own Hawaiian vacation.

What drew me most was a place called Byodo-In Temple. It’s a replica of a 900 year Buddhist temple in Kyoto, Japan. It’s also a place that many Buddhists have chosen for their cremains. When were there, my family got to enter the space where the cremains are held and it was one of the most impactful events I’ve ever had. It was powerful there. It was spiritual in a way I don’t want to define with words. I felt the peace there and I realized how in trying to find balance, I’m actually experiencing unbalance.

After we walked through the sanctuary, we wandered the grounds and I kept thinking the same thing – My Qi is off. I don’t even know really what Qi is, I just knew that in stopping attendance to the Mormon church over the past 10 months, I’ve lost my spiritual practice. While I have every intention of meditating (my current connection to quiet and spirit) I rarely meditate. I think – I should do that. But I also say that about reading more, sewing, making dinner every night, reaching out to family, doing yoga. You name it, I’m actively saying I should do it and then staying busy so I don’t have to.

The death of my mom hit me upside the head in a way I didn’t ever know it would. It’s not about the realities of grief but more about the absolute feeling of aloneness, of orphanness. I know I’m not alone – but the loss of both parents untethers you from more things than your childhood home and whose in-laws you eat Thanksgiving with. There’s no longer a singular person – or pair of persons – who have to love you. There are only so many mementos you can stuff your house with, only so many rings you can wear on your fingers, blankets to drape over couches and rocking chairs, Barbie dolls to stuff in bins for future grandchildren hands to play with until you realize:

Nothing has value. Except relationships.

At first I wanted all the things. I brought them home and put them in places, some temporary, some permanent. I sobbed the day I brought home my grandma’s end table and lamps. Sobbed hard in my closet on a freshly washed afagan my mom had made. Because the only damn reason that table and those lamps would be in my house is if my mom was dead, and my dad was dead, which means my grandma and grandpa are dead too. Their deadness however long doesn’t matter because the lamps are in my damn house now. They are all gone and one day someone else will get them and I’ll be dead too.

See, nothing has value. It stays, and the owner goes. My relationship to those lamps – and their owners – means more than the lamps. And that doesn’t translate, no matter how long they are in my house, no matter who gets them after me.

As I walked in the sanctuary at Byodo-In, all I could think about was managing the barrage of spiritual feelings coming at me. My family could listen intently to the docent and notice the mementos behind the glass next to the cremains. Shane and the boys saw the Bud Light can behind the glass, I only tell the story of it being there and imagine it. But what I experienced was the potently charged air, the crowdedness of the empty hall and sanctuary, the close feeling. It didn’t scare me, it brought out feeling in a rush of tears. I remember the smell of the incense and the ringing of the singing bowl, my family all being there barefoot and sweaty in front of an altar.

When my mom died, I talked at her funeral about what we bring. “How do we show up in our lives, and our loved ones lives.” I followed that feeling throughout the clearing, cleaning, and selling of my mom’s house. I went to Hawaii to connect with her in a way I didn’t know I needed to. There was something left of her visit there from 1985 that still was there for me to pick up in 2019. Maybe it was in the sand at Waimea Beach. Maybe she’d left it somewhere on Kam Highway going to the North Shore. Maybe I didn’t find it at all, but drove past it and just smelled it on the wind. Suellen Was Here.

Now post-Hawaii, my talk has changed to “What do I take away?” Do I keep being hard on myself? Do I just keep doing what I’ve always done? Hiding my feelings. Pretending things don’t hurt. Waiting for the permission to live the life I want to live. What do I take away from knowing my qi is off? Do I blame my weight gain on it and eat some more potato chips? Yes, I do, some days. Others I really do meditate and then I feel like I have a gold star for effort and I’m “back on track.” I’m in a hurry to get *there* where I’ve learned all the things and am better for it, instead of patiently (and impatiently) making stabs at it, trying to figure out what works.

Mid-fall 2018: an update post

Whew, 2018 has been something.

A few things to get off with right off the bat.

In April, after much discussion and sleepless nights and a whole lot of other stuff, I went on an antidepressant, went off my inhaled steroid, and started treating for reflux. It was a whole lot of stuff to get through with the stoppings and startings and all that. For a while I thought my body and mind would never feel familiar again. I'm glad to say that it's gotten better. About being medicated...

• I felt the medication hit my brain the first time. Whoosh. 
• I ended up changing from one formula to another because the first didn't let me sleep. I love my doctor for being willing to change things up for me on desperate April day, 5 days after I started the first medication.
• Many many things and beliefs and shit I carried around have fallen by the wayside. Good and bad.
• I can no longer keep things to myself. Probably a good thing. After starting medication, words and conversations fell out of me that had been aching to come out for years. I cleared a lot of air that badly needed clearing.
• I'm finally in a space where I'm not constantly 2 parsecs away from full panic. Panic left me in degrees, which was fascinating to both experience and observe.
• I'm constantly comparing "before" to "after."

It was one of the hardest decisions, and it wasn't easy or fun for months. But things are better. I've grown up in ways I didn't know I could. I am thankful every day for the chemical reaction in my brain that results from a pill I take every night.

Now THAT's out of the way, let's talk about 2018.

1. Went on the best California trip we've ever taken. We went back to San Diego and our home away from home. I savored every moment of running, playing, eating, drinking, strolling, laughing, observing, and being. Not constantly spinning on how something could be different or better (as I did "before") allowed for every moment to count, perfect or not.
2. Sat in the sun for many, many soccer games. My tan has never been so good.
3. Celebrated 43. I spent my birthday on a hike with a friend, then went to dinner with my family wearing a new dress that I never would have dared wear "before." Shane got me a new Fitbit and enjoyed every moment of the day. We celebrated with cupcakes from the grocery store that were amazing.
4. Read a few books. The 1,000th Floor, Eleanor Oliphant is Perfectly Fine, The Monsters of Templeton, Britt-Marie was Here, the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy (when I needed familiar, comfort reading because I couldn't face any serious shock or need for my empathy; I was worried for a while that I wouldn't ever enjoy story again. So glad I came out of that!), Night of Cake and Puppets, Weird Things Customers say in Bookstores, Still Me. 
5. Sewed. I made a friend in my neighborhood who has become my sewing wise woman. I fell in love with a black and white fabric line that I ended up using in 3 different projects, and I designed all of them myself.
6. Ranted about politics. I'm so tired of trump. I'm so tired of our broken government.
7. Walked. I hurt my back in June inexplicably, so I haven't ran much this summer. Or really since April, if I'm honest. But I've learned to love walking. Each Sunday I spent out walking on the Mountain View Corridor, watching the thistles bloom and die off, giving way for the sunflowers that make me so happy. I also started walking with friends on my days off. It's easier to reach out to others now, after. 
8. Walked with Shane. Oftentimes, we did nothing but argue about current family events. but lately, we've been in this sweet spot of peace, well, except for politics. Being medicated allows me to listen without being flooded by cortisol. We can actually have difficult conversations now that mostly work, mostly because I'm medicated and I've learned to listen and speak my words.
9. Felt more like myself than I have in 20 years.
10. Wore tank tops and running skirts almost every day. But for sure on my days off. I haven't shown my shoulders in years, because, well, because. And then I realized that there was a whole subset of clothes that there was no reason I couldn't be wearing and so I got some. And then my work started allowing sleeveless tops and so I really could buy new clothes. I was so uncomfortable the first time I showed my shoulders at work. It was liberating though. And I bought a lot of cute running skirts that make me happy every time I put them on.
11. Discovered the deliciousness that is PSL. Why did I wait so long? I mean, probably because of all the mochas I usually drink, but mmmm. There's something to that pumpkin spice fad.
12. Moved my mom into an assisted living center. 
13. Learned to make Dresden plates as well as hexies (sewing lingo for different kinds of flowers. Love!)
14. Started PT for my back.
15. Admitted that I'm #metoo to a number of people. As a result of the trauma that was the Kavanaugh hearings, I realized that I'm not happy living in a patriarchal society. I celebrated my own day (the Saturday of conference, the day that in both arenas of which I'm a voting member I realized the patriarchy gets its way and doesn't really value my dissenting voice) that I called F*** the Patriarchy day and got a tattoo, the tattoo that I've always wanted: a combination of the daisy chain around the ankle with the flower modeled after my beloved marble flower from the Roman Forum.
16. Found every stray photo around my house and put them in albums. 
17. Started learning Canon in D.
18. Discovered the Rachel Maddow podcast, as well as Trevor Noah. 
19. Hung out with my kids. We ate at Buffalo Wild Wings, La Luna, Zupas, Costa Vida, and Salsa Leedos quite a bit all together. Thomas worked at the rec center all summer, and Ben played a lot of soccer. 
20. Saw Florence + The Machine with Amy. Sooooo good. Soooooo much fun.
21. Got a new mattress - heaven.

If you've made it this far in the post, thanks for sticking with me. 7 months between posts results in a lot of catching up and documenting random things. 

Summer 2016, as told in pictures

With everyone back to school, it seems like a good time to document our summer.

Hiking

After our lovely winter snow shoeing adventures, I decided we needed to also spend some time in the mountains in the summer. We went on a few hikes together - not as many as I'd have liked to do, and we only officially finished a few, but it was fun going to new places in our beautiful mountains. Places we hiked: Desolation Trail, Ferguson Canyon, The Living Room, and Yellow Fork.

Random stuff

At the first of the summer, we had some really fun repairs (stove, garage door, and drier.) While it was fun to take apart our new-ish drier and replace some parts, I could have lived without it.

I spent most Thursday evenings running with two friends from young women. 

For my birthday, I signed up for a class with Brene Brown and Oprah. It's based on one of Brene Brown's books, The Gifts of Imperfection. One of the first assignments was to make "permission tags," an assignment where I gave myself permission to do things I normally wouldn't think I could do. I guess I need a lot of permission, as this was my page.

Vacation

As last year's vacation was pretty lame, we decided to go back to San Diego for this year's trip. We stopped off in Las Vegas for a night. It was fun to travel with older kids - Shane and I were able to leave them in the condo and go out for the evening. We ate dinner at a restaurant in Caesars Palace right by the fountain that is inspired by the Trevi Fountain in Rome. It was a really fun time. I must have a lot of my dad in me, because I really get excited to go to Las Vegas. I like to get dressed up and roam a bit in the evening.

Me and Ben playing in the pool while we waited for our room to be ready. There is a unique feeling to a pool in the middle of the desert. It reminds me of being a kid.

Mmm. I can still taste the delicious spaghetti with meatballs I had while sitting here. It came as close as I've ever tasted to being like pasta in Italy.

We were super happy to be back in San Diego. We sat by the pool, visited the ocean, toured Old Town and ate delicious Mexican food, rented paddle boards on the bay (which may just be a little bit of heaven on earth!), ran on the beach, took a yoga class on the bay, watched the fireworks at Sea World every night from our room, and enjoyed ourselves, all while trying to keep one 11 year old who never stops moving entertained. Man, take me back there!!

I found these little signs - two on my morning runs, and one while eating dinner. I thought they accurately portrayed the past year for me.

The words below say "Poseidon Riding Hippokampus with Dolphin." Amen.

Ben tried out for a competition soccer team. We've really enjoyed watching him play soccer. He played in two tournaments and his season starts in September.

Thomas ran with the cross country team most summer mornings. He's had 3 cross country meets so far - one intersquad and two other actual meets. He's starting to like running more.

I couldn't resist getting the new Harry Potter book. Review will be forthcoming. But: I cried at least once.

Not pictured: 4th of July swim party at my sister's house, hanging pictures at my mom's house, Bee's game with Shane's work, Thomas going to youth conference, paddle boarding on vacation, reading SDBBE books, niece's and nephew's baby showers, Ben and Kaleb bonding at the trampoline place, mother-in-law's neck surgery, and more that I'm sure that I've forgotten.

How was your summer?

Happy making: wool socks edition

Lest it sound like my whole life is doom and gloom, I want to put it out there that there are things making me happy these days. I need to complain about anxiety every now and then, and I want to document things I notice so that I am armed for the future, but it isn’t the whole story lately.

So what things have made me happy lately? Let me count the ways.

Wool socks. Oh my gosh, I forgot this when I first posted this. How could I forget though? I went hiking in October with my sweet mother-in-law and she brought me a new pair of wool socks. I looked forward to wearing those socks every week, and so on the day after Christmas, I bought a four pack of the very best socks in the world: Merino wool socks from Costco. I have worn fluffy, warm, beautiful wool socks all winter since. And, I just bought another 4 pack last Friday. I'm sort of a sock slut. But I have no shame in that. No, none at all.

Running. Can I just tell you (again!) how much I love winter running? I am going to. I love the cold air. I love getting warm and sweaty at the same time as my face is delightfully cool. I love running fast in the winter. I even love my treadmill these days. I’ve been doing some different kinds of workouts thanks to the inspiration of taking an Orange Theory fitness class last month. At Orange Theory, they hook up you with a heart rate monitor for the entire workout, which consist of 23 minutes of cardio and 23 minutes of strength. All you have to do is follow the workout plan as set forth by the instructor while trying to keep your heartrate monitor color in the orange or red sections. These are the anaerobic thresholds that, once reached, can help burn calories after the workout has ended. I discovered in the class just how much I love working in the green section – the one right before orange & red. Why? Because I’m not out of breath as much in the green. After the class, I decided I could get myself in the orange by doing pick-ups of 1 or 2 minutes at a faster pace during my runs. I feel like it’s helping. I’m also getting back to doing some high intensity interval training on run days and cross train days. I haven’t done much strength training in the past few months, and I’m can tell that I need it.

Running clothes. I count this in a completely different category than running! I got a running skirt and long running tights for Christmas that make me so happy. Shane also gave me an awesome running jacket that I never would have bought for myself but absolutely love. It is perfect for an outdoor run and keeps me so warm I barely notice the wind and cold. Plus it has a cozy soft inner lining that is bright pink. I love running in pink.

Eating Lindor balls. Shane brought home a giant gift bag of assorted Lindor balls right before Christmas. How had I not discovered their particular brand of deliciousness??!! My faves are the light and dark blue, red, and black. I’ve since bought 2 more bags, and Shane also scared up another partial bag from work that have fed my addiction nicely.

Sewing. As one of my ways of coping with anxiety, I started sewing at night. I had started a Christmas tree skirt 2 Christmases ago that had tons of hand stitching. I spent many nights sewing on that and finished it right before I decorated. I then decided to make table runners as gifts. These were fun projects that forced me to finish the items I was working on, thus helping me get better at quilting and binding. I even tried my hand at free-form quilting, something I had never done before but now adore. In the midst of it, I found an awesome sewing machine that I ended up getting for Christmas. Sewing is so fun now, and I feel like I can do things I couldn’t do with my old machine. I have a few other projects in the works, which is exciting.

I have made three of these as gifts...we'll see if I ever finish the one I  started for myself.

Christmas tree skirt

Finishing our basement. Back before I went to Italy, Shane started working on finishing our basement. It took 2 loooonng years to finish. We used electricians, plumbers, and heating and air professionals early on to finish those jobs, but the rest was done by Shane. After spending all spring and summer sheet rocking, we saved up and had pros do the mudding and taping in the fall (I will forever be grateful for them! They did such a great job at helping our walls look good.) We also had a guy do the tile in the shower and bathroom floor. The boys helped us paint, which was pretty fun. We just got carpet 2 weeks ago. We finished it with all the same paint, doors, and trim so that it matches the upstairs. It’s so exciting to have it all done.

Reading. I’ve finished a couple of books lately, and started a few that I may or may not finish but still enjoyed. My favorites were The All Girls Filling Station’s Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg and The Lake House by Kate Morton. My least favorite was The Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood…I didn’t finish it, but I may, eventually. I’m reading The Library at Mount Char currently.

My family. We’ve had some really fun times at home lately, watching The Office reruns (because Thomas, at 14, decided he wanted to watch the series again now that he “gets more of the jokes.” Teenagers. I just cringe!) and our TV watching staple Modern Family. Shane and I had a really fun and casual anniversary dinner together (we were both filthy, having worked in the basement all day cleaning and then went to a late soccer game for Ben – seriously, the game started at 5:40 in the evening. The opportunity to go out sort of just evolved out of a very nice offer of Ben’s friend’s parents who were also at the game.) Shane and I had some very important conversations and started to understand a few things about ourselves and about each other that can help make things smoother. I’ve enjoyed watching Ben’s soccer team get clobbered each week by the club teams he’s playing during indoor soccer. We are like the ragtag team from the wrong side of the tracks with our cotton t-shirts and mismatched shorts, but the kids are learning a lot and getting better thanks to playing teams that have played for years together in indoor and outdoor soccer.  

Meeting someone again that I haven’t seen in over 25 years. It was something I had dreamed and hoped for and am so very grateful happened.

Knick knacks from my mom’s house. While helping her pack, I brought home a few items that have made me so happy. I got a painting that my grandpa painted. I also got a milk glass bowl that was my mom’s moms, and a pitcher with cups that was my dad’s moms. I didn’t bring home a lot of stuff, but what I did get, I really love and am trying to incorporate into my house instead of just shoving them into a cabinet somewhere to never see the light of day. I also brought home a giant secretary that I still have sitting in my garage. The thing is massive, almost 7 feet tall. I want to put it in my basement, but I don’t know if it can fit and haven’t convinced anyone to pick it up and attempt to take it down the stairs. (If any of you local readers have a moving-company hookup that would do a house call and tell me if it will fit or not, I might just love you forever.)

So what is making you happy lately? I want to know.

Snowshoeing at Solitude: A review of sorts

When I was a kid, I made exactly one snowman. I was approximately 3 years old at the time. Later, when I was 16, I went with my friend Cindy to a hill and attempted to snowboard.

That's all I got for winter outdoor activities, folks. I guess I've always been more of inside kind of girl.

So when I started to think about snowshoeing this year, it seemed foreign. But I've realized the past few years how much I love winter running. I'm not in the least afraid of the cold; I actually love it. I'm faster in the winter than I am in the summer, and my asthma doesn't seem to bother me as much. Plus, with my kids getting older, all they ever want to do is hang out with their friends. I'm happy to let them do that, but I'm finding that if we don't find things to actually go out and do, then we don't ever do anything together.

On Christmas Eve, we went sledding at a park near our house. It was really fun and it solidified my determination that we would soon try snowshoeing. Shane found us all boots. Then the day after Christmas, I got my very first pair of snowpants. (They are seriously so cute. I got them at Costco and I wore them for the rest of the day after I bought them.) I found a great deal on snowpants for both Shane and Thomas, and Ben already had a pair. We were ready, and all we had to do was pick a day and go.

That day finally came on Saturday. I had researched snowshoeing in Utah and found that the Silver Lake area at Solitude Ski Resort is the perfect place to snowshoe. The reason are many, but include:

• 6 miles of dedicated and groomed snowshoeing trails.
• Easy and relatively inexpensive rentals. They were very helpful, and asked us lots of questions. Thomas didn't have waterproof boots so they suggested overshoes for him. They asked which of us wanted poles (only I wanted them) as a way to save money. We were all outfitted and ready within 10 minutes of walking in to the Nordic Center.
• Free parking
• Easy to follow trails (once you realize the markings - will explain later!)
• A shuttle bus that allows you to travel between Silver Lake and the main Solitude Ski Resort.
• Color coded maps along the trails.

We got to Solitude about 12:00. We had originally planned on doing a half-day of snowshoeing, but to do that, you have to arrive after 12:30. Even so, it was still around $21 a person for the rentals and day pass. Not bad for trying out a new activity.

I kept thinking as I was getting my snowshoes on that standing up would feel like ice skating, but it didn't. There is nothing at all similar about ice skating and snowshoeing other than they both involve your feet and cold weather, ha ha.

The trail starts right outside of the Nordic Center. However, being new, we had no idea at first that we were on the cross country ski trail. We bumbled around for about 10 minutes, unsure of where we were supposed to be going until the person who helped us with our rental directed us to the trail. After that, it was super easy to follow the blue ribbons to stay on course. They were tied to trees, posts, bushes, and poles. There were other trails marked in other colors - we ended up taking blue around the lake, and then orange around another trail that took us past some lovely winter cabins. The two trails make a figure 8, and total about 1.5 miles.

The snowshoe trail is about 3 feet wide - wide enough for just a single person to snowshoe, and to pass others on the trail. By the time we started, the trail was pretty trampled, which was nice because it was less work, but kind of sad because it was fun to step on virgin snow. We each stepped a few feet off the track at some point just to make our own footsteps. It's fun to watch the snowshoes cut through the snow, and amazing to see how even though you sink a little, you still stay relatively higher than you would in regular shoes.

I used poles, and both boys used borrowed them for a time during our walk. Having poles isn't necessary in any way, but it makes it fun. I liked how they added an upper body component to the snowshoeing. (I've found this when I've used them hiking as well.) The poles were nice to have especially when going uphill. It took a little less strain off of of the legs.

Our little snowshoe adventure took us about 2 hours. We weren't trying to win any speed awards. We stopped and took pictures, laid in the snow to make snow angels, threw snowballs at trees, put snow down clothing (well, some of us), and admired the scenery. It was seriously such a gorgeous day - it was snowing just enough to be beautiful but not super cold. The wind was cold, but once you were moving, it sort of faded into the background, and was completely absent during our time on the orange Cabin trail, which is a little more sheltered.

I wore a pair of ColdGear UnderArmor tights, my snow pants, a pair of wool socks and a pair of acrylic (but my boots kept my feet so warm I would have been fine with one pair of socks), a short sleeve running shirt, a long sleeve running shirt, a running jacket, and a coat. I could have survived (and would have preferred) without my coat. I wore gloves sometimes, but other times I took them off because I was too hot or wanted to take pictures.

Once you get the rhythm down, you sort of forget you are wearing snowshoes at all. The kind I had required me to step toe-first instead of heel first, because the spikes were at the front of the snowshoes. There is a hinge that allows your hill to come up but the snowshoe to stay down.

Everyone had a great time. I would have loved to stay longer, but unknown to us until the very end, Ben had the stomach flu so he was more than ready to be done when we got back to the Nordic Center.We finished off the day by stopping at a cafe called Silver Fork Lodge for a delicious lunch.

Now for some pictures.

Not too bad for an inside girl, I'd say.


Have you ever been snowshoeing? Any advice or local trails you can recommend?

The thing about my power bill

I like to think of myself as a pretty environmentally aware person. I listen to a lot of NPR, I don’t litter, I recycle whenever possible, I turn off the lights when I leave a room, we have a Subaru (you know, ALL the tenets of an environmentalist) (not sure why "NPR listener" makes a difference, but I'm just going with it.) (I don't, however, own a Prius.) I may not be winning a prize anytime soon, but I try and be a good steward of the resources.

Which brings me to my power bill. In an effort to get people to conserve, every other month I get an extra page in my bill. It lists my account information and shows a terribly distressing graph of three categories of neighbors:

• Energy efficient neighbors (who get a green bar! They are amazing human beings.)
• Other neighbors (who get a blue bar. Not amazing, but still…in comparison.)
•  Me. (Blackish-grey bar. Basically, a piece of shit.)

I cannot tell you how hot and bothered I get by this energy shaming. I walk around my house and look for a hidden, giant, energy-hogging appliance. I unplug chargers and electric blankets. I worry that someone is siphoning our power in a secret, government-backed project to get humans on Mars. (OK, not really on the last one…but still.) Where is this usage coming from? What is wrong with me that I can’t be the green bar person, or at least the blue bar person? Why am I the 78^th person out of 100 in my neighborhood? How does this happen?

Maybe it’s a publicity stunt. Maybe the difference between the 2^nd and 78^th person out of 100 is less than .01%. I don’t know and my power company certainly isn’t going to be telling me any time soon.

The most important fact is that I can pay my damn bill. I might not like it, but I can pay it.

I talked with Amy about it a few weeks ago. She said her bill is the same, and she finds it every bit as bewildering. Together, we made a pact not to worry about our energy-shaming bills. I vowed to her that I will always dispose of this document in the least environmentally-friendly way possible, just to be spiteful. It would be fun to say that I will roll a blunt with it; fortunately, I’m not currently doing drugs, so that won’t happen. Maybe I’ll let Ben tear it into strips and burn it with a magnifying glass. I don’t know – I’m going to have to explore ways and means. Shredding is always an option. But I’m not going to let that piece of paper bother me anymore.

I am more than that blackish-grey line, dammit.

Randomalities - July Edition

• I put blond highlights in my hair about a month ago. I hates them, Precious. I always like when my hair is dark, not light, so what was I thinking? (Well, what I was thinking is I wanted to get my hair done, but I was being cheap and so I thought, hey, highlights are at least something. [But a sucky something, I'm finding out.] And so with it being summer and the pool visits and swimming that go along with it, I thought it would be good to do them) Now I want summer to be over so I can go and get my hair colored nice and dark. That feels so far away.
• I was the photographer at my brother and new sister-in-law's wedding. It was horribly stressful. But sort of fun. I learned a lot. I was super glad I took a bunch of photos of the kids before the wedding started; I could see what worked and what didn't with the setting of the wedding. They got married under a tree, so I had to use the flash, which I usually avoid using. Furthermore, I kept thinking I was done, or moving into the sunlight and pushing down the flash only to move back into the shade and subsequently forgetting my flash wasn't up. (Thank heaven for photo editing software!) I was pretty happy with most of the shots, and particularly proud of a couple. The worst moment? When I realized, after the bride had come walked down the aisle, that my camera was on manual. Those 10 shots were all pure white. I was sick about it (I sort of still am.) You learn more from your mistakes than your successes, right?
• My kids are taking diving lessons this summer. It is cool watching them learn something new. Most of what they have done is learning jumps and approaches; sort of boring, but they are working hard.
• Thomas is almost taller than me. He grows every single day, I swear. And his hands are bigger than mine. What is happening?
• I've been wanting a "gig" for a while - you know, just something on the side, not my main job, but a way to earn some extra money. Last year when I was saving for Italy, I found a website who needed writers. It took almost a year, but I finally got to the top of their waiting list and started writing for them in May. It isn't glamorous (I've written about granite countertops, screen doors, nail salons, and other random items) but hey, it's some extra money. And sorta fun. When I write a lot, my brain works better for some reason.
• I'm officially 39. I've got to commemorate this year somehow.
• Ragnar happened. But it was the highest of highs, the lowest of lows. I had a flat out tantrum at the finish line, got three blisters, one black toenail, and three tubes of my beloved Ragnar chapstick. I took very few pictures. My heart just wasn't in it this year. I think I am retiring for a while. Which makes me sad because Ragnar is summer now.
• I went running today. I forgot to start my running watch, so when I looked down to see how long I'd been running and how far, it showed nothing. It was sort of liberating. This has been a really hard running year; my body feels sluggish, I'm slow, my breathing sucks, I'm taking walk breaks. Somehow, realizing that I wasn't being timed, that I didn't have to berate myself for another slow run was just what I needed. I took my time, my mental attitude changed, and the run was great. I was still slow and sluggish and wheezy, but I finished happier than I have of late. Maybe I should try that more often. 

And, because I'm random, here are some random pics.

Thomas took this pic. I love it so much! (But not the highlights...)

He is so handsome.

My favorite photo from the wedding. I love the heart they are making with their arms.

 Shane with his dad, sons, and nephew. 8 months ago, this picture would have been impossible. It makes my heart happy.

 What is random in your life?

Summer 2013: A little of this, a little of that

It's September! And I've really really sucked at blogging this year. I think it's because I spend most nights working and once I'm done working, I tend to want to sleep. I start posts but then they get really long/boring/complicated/whatever and so I save them, unfinished. Seriously, I've tried to blog about summer two different times and I get to the point where I discover I hate everything I've written, they go nowhere.

But, maybe today will be more successful.

So, summer. 2013 was a really great summer! This is what we did this summer, person by person.

Thomas

I think Thomas had a good summer. He did two sessions of swimming lessons. He can swim 50 meters without stopping (much). He loves to do backstroke, but can freestyle and butterfly as well. He spent a lot of time at home watching Minecraft videos (seriously, Minecraft should be called Minecrack; it is on every device in our home and it still seems to not be enough.) Thomas got braces in August. The orthodontist gave him a list of things he shouldn't eat which my dear son took literally. Suddenly every food that he's used to eating was a recipe for disaster and so he stopped eating everything but chicken noodle soup. This was quite a stressful event since we were marooned in the middle of Disneyland where there is very little chicken soup. The afraid-to-eat-anything situation culminated as we sat on the patio of the Jolly Holiday Bakery Cafe where he ate baby-bird-sized bites of the $9 turkey sandwich he got for lunch while I sat looking on, wondering why the hell my son could no longer eat normal food. I had braces for almost 5 years. I couldn't remember a single food I didn't eat during that five years. Oh, son. The Jolly Holiday patio will always hold fond memories.

Other stuff he did:

• Turned 12. Yesterday was the first day he passed the sacrament.
• Jumped off the 7.5 meter diving board.
• Walked his brother to and from school for 3 weeks.
• Became a high brown belt in tae kwon do.
• Learned how to do a front flip on the trampoline
• Spent a lot of time at the swimming pool, practicing swimming
• Got a cell phone.
• Had the first real (well, longer than 7 weeks) summer in many years. Going from year-round to traditional school is strange. And now my kids will be on different schedules until Thomas is a junior in high school. That sort of makes me want to cry.
• Started junior high. We almost sent him to a charter school, but in the end he is attending his regular district school. He loves it. It's so strange that he's no longer a little kid.
• Passed the 5 feet mark. In fact, he's 5 feet 2 inches, and growing every day.
• Decided that he did want to look good for junior high and insisted that his clothes come from Aeropostale. We bought him everything that he needed and at the end, they gave me a 30% off coupon for the next weekend. I went back to a different Aeropostale store and bought everything that he had already gotten again and used the 30% off and then returned the original clothes with the original receipt. I love working the system!

Ben

Ben also did swimming lessons. Ben passed off two classes in one session so that he could be in Thomas's class for the second session. Ben finished soccer in June. On the way to his last game he announced to all of us in the car that he was going to get a lot of goals that day. He ended up getting all of the goals for his team that day. It's amazing to me how he will decide he's going to do something and then does it. Ben also went off the 7.5 meter diving board, but he wasn't supposed to because there is an age clause that restricts anyone under age 10 from jumping. He enjoyed the 3 times he did it and then didn't get to do it again.

Other things Ben did:

• Spent a weekend with his grandma while we ran Ragnar. Both the kids enjoyed this.
• Started third grade
• Avoided cutting his hair until the very last minute before school started. Ben is very picky about his hair.
• Jumped on the trampoline every second he could.
• Discovered that Subway was pretty good. Finally my kids like something other than McDonalds. Such a small victory!
• Slept somewhere other than in his bed and didn't have a bed time for an entire MONTH after school let out. I wasn't sure I was going to survive it, but I did. Oh for the days of my kids being little and going to bed. I miss them!
• Learned how to do a backflip on the trampoline yesterday! His awesome cousin Nathan taught him in about 5 minutes. He's wanted to learn all summer long but I didn't feel comfortable spotting him. Now he knows how to do it and is soo happy.

 The parents (that's me and Shane, in case you didn't know.)

• Went on a few dates. We've reached the mecca of parenthood where we don't have to get a babysitter anymore to go to dinner together. It is a-maz-ing. The kids love it, we love it, it's a win-win situation.
• Ragnar. It was a great year. I loved our team. Leg #8 was awesome - it was so nice to not be the last runner. And I didn't have to drive the whole time. Wahoo for Ragnar - it's awesome and I can't imagine a summer without it.
• Swimming. As soon as the outdoor pool at the rec center opens, we are swimming. I never imagined we would love swimming but we do.
• Turned in our old car (the lease was up) and leased another one. I hate dealing with car dealerships! We got a CX5. I'm liking it so far. I have to admit: it's fun having my phone sync to my car. And it's nice to not fumble for my phone when someone calls. The kids love connecting their iPods to the radio (when I actually let them do it, that is.)
• Spent time with Shane's grandpa who moved up here from St. George in August. It is so nice to have him so close. I love that my kids will get to know him better and have more memories of their sweet great-grandpa.

Me

• Got a new calling at church. I'm now teaching Gospel Doctrine. It's interesting.
• Turned 38. I hate 38. I've been okay with my thirties up until this age. I would rather be 39 than 38. It's just so....ignominious. Blech.
• Got a passport. I've never had one before! And I just might be using it soon....
• Found a pair of wooden shoes that come close to replacing the ones I lost 2 summers ago. The new ones are taller and the strap is narrower, but they are easy to slip on, comfortable (or getting there) and, best of all, I got them super cheap on clearance.
• Helped my mom organize her family room. There's still more work to be done, but we got a good start.
• Read Divergent and Insurgent in a week. They are the first books I've read on my phone. I kind of liked it and kind of hated it. I'm looking forward to the third book that comes out in October.
• Started going to a body sculpting class at the rec center. It is awesome. I've realized the hard way that it isn't enough to run. Strength training helps my joints so much. I resisted this fact for soooo long, but no longer. I love going to this class when I can manage to fit it in.
• Went to my friend Janna's baby shower. She was in the middle of a move from New York to San Franscico so it was fun to see her while she was in Utah. I can't wait for her to be able to snuggle her little baby in the baby I made for her!
• Found a new favorite run for the summer. I run from my kids karate studio to the gym, swim a few laps, then run back to the studio. I also did a few where I ran to the Olympic Oval and ran laps there. As much as I hate hate hate HATE running laps, I love love love the 65 degree temperature.

Whew. That was long. A lot goes into a summer and I would hate to not have any of it chronicled. I hope you all had a good summer. It's strange that it's already Labor Day. I'm going to miss summer. But fall has a few surprises in the works, so I'm excited for it as well.