Right Now Gratitude - day 5

2016 has been a strange year for running. I had ankle pain that started in late April and never really went away. It was an annoyance, but about a month ago my ankle started hurting all the time, and just walking around doing my normal activities was hard. Despite this, I did a few more dumb things in October - ran up a hill long zigzagging instead of just running straight - the same act that gave me plantar fasciitis about 10 years ago. Another day, I did a cardio sandwich at the gym on my already tender ankle. Finally, I did a long downhill run from my house to the high school one day after work. No bueno, not a happy ankle.

So I stopped running for two weeks and fretted about what to do about it. After the two weeks when it wasn't any better or worse than before, I decided to go to the doctor. Once I decided to go to the doctor, I knew I could start running again, which shouldn't make any sense, but it does. So last Monday I saw a podiatrist. He was really nice, and even kept trying to help me after I told him I might kick him in the face if he pinched my achilles one more time (I have achilles issues.) After an xray, he offered me a cortisone shot in my ankle to combat what he thinks may be arthritis. I really wanted to get the hell out of his office as soon as he mentioned the shot, but he was very persuasive and I relented. I was super proud of myself that I didn't hyperventilate during said shot. Go me.

So now I'm 8 days post-shot. My ankle feels so much better! The feeling that my foot might break off each time I walk down stairs has dissipated, happily. It still hurts a little bit in places, but mostly it just feels and looks like my foot again, which is a relief. I didn't realize how swollen it had been until a few days ago when I realized my socks suddenly felt roomy. I've been running a few times since, and I just love being back to it.

Fall is my favorite time of year to run. I admit that I slog through the summer, watching my running splits get slower and slower as it gets hot. It's always a relief to get to that magical morning that will come around every September when the air is crisp and I can run fast again. And even though I always know there will be a few more warm runs, I know they are numbered.

Tonight was a perfect autumn run. I left just as the sun set behind my mountains. I watched the shadows grow across the valley. The wind was there, just as it always is when you live on the west side, but it was manageable. I needed long sleeves and an ear warmer (sadly, there weren't thumb holes, which are the best invention ever - Amy and I were texting about earlier!) I ran a route that was part happenstance, part determination to encounter as many paths covered in leaves as possible. I felt like I could run forever. It was gorgeous and perfect and I was just so grateful to be running, to be feeling like myself, to be crunching leaves under my feet.

What are you grateful for today?

Summer 2016, as told in pictures

With everyone back to school, it seems like a good time to document our summer.

Hiking

After our lovely winter snow shoeing adventures, I decided we needed to also spend some time in the mountains in the summer. We went on a few hikes together - not as many as I'd have liked to do, and we only officially finished a few, but it was fun going to new places in our beautiful mountains. Places we hiked: Desolation Trail, Ferguson Canyon, The Living Room, and Yellow Fork.

Random stuff

At the first of the summer, we had some really fun repairs (stove, garage door, and drier.) While it was fun to take apart our new-ish drier and replace some parts, I could have lived without it.

I spent most Thursday evenings running with two friends from young women. 

For my birthday, I signed up for a class with Brene Brown and Oprah. It's based on one of Brene Brown's books, The Gifts of Imperfection. One of the first assignments was to make "permission tags," an assignment where I gave myself permission to do things I normally wouldn't think I could do. I guess I need a lot of permission, as this was my page.

Vacation

As last year's vacation was pretty lame, we decided to go back to San Diego for this year's trip. We stopped off in Las Vegas for a night. It was fun to travel with older kids - Shane and I were able to leave them in the condo and go out for the evening. We ate dinner at a restaurant in Caesars Palace right by the fountain that is inspired by the Trevi Fountain in Rome. It was a really fun time. I must have a lot of my dad in me, because I really get excited to go to Las Vegas. I like to get dressed up and roam a bit in the evening.

Me and Ben playing in the pool while we waited for our room to be ready. There is a unique feeling to a pool in the middle of the desert. It reminds me of being a kid.

Mmm. I can still taste the delicious spaghetti with meatballs I had while sitting here. It came as close as I've ever tasted to being like pasta in Italy.

We were super happy to be back in San Diego. We sat by the pool, visited the ocean, toured Old Town and ate delicious Mexican food, rented paddle boards on the bay (which may just be a little bit of heaven on earth!), ran on the beach, took a yoga class on the bay, watched the fireworks at Sea World every night from our room, and enjoyed ourselves, all while trying to keep one 11 year old who never stops moving entertained. Man, take me back there!!

I found these little signs - two on my morning runs, and one while eating dinner. I thought they accurately portrayed the past year for me.

The words below say "Poseidon Riding Hippokampus with Dolphin." Amen.

Ben tried out for a competition soccer team. We've really enjoyed watching him play soccer. He played in two tournaments and his season starts in September.

Thomas ran with the cross country team most summer mornings. He's had 3 cross country meets so far - one intersquad and two other actual meets. He's starting to like running more.

I couldn't resist getting the new Harry Potter book. Review will be forthcoming. But: I cried at least once.

Not pictured: 4th of July swim party at my sister's house, hanging pictures at my mom's house, Bee's game with Shane's work, Thomas going to youth conference, paddle boarding on vacation, reading SDBBE books, niece's and nephew's baby showers, Ben and Kaleb bonding at the trampoline place, mother-in-law's neck surgery, and more that I'm sure that I've forgotten.

How was your summer?

Happy making: wool socks edition

Lest it sound like my whole life is doom and gloom, I want to put it out there that there are things making me happy these days. I need to complain about anxiety every now and then, and I want to document things I notice so that I am armed for the future, but it isn’t the whole story lately.

So what things have made me happy lately? Let me count the ways.

Wool socks. Oh my gosh, I forgot this when I first posted this. How could I forget though? I went hiking in October with my sweet mother-in-law and she brought me a new pair of wool socks. I looked forward to wearing those socks every week, and so on the day after Christmas, I bought a four pack of the very best socks in the world: Merino wool socks from Costco. I have worn fluffy, warm, beautiful wool socks all winter since. And, I just bought another 4 pack last Friday. I'm sort of a sock slut. But I have no shame in that. No, none at all.

Running. Can I just tell you (again!) how much I love winter running? I am going to. I love the cold air. I love getting warm and sweaty at the same time as my face is delightfully cool. I love running fast in the winter. I even love my treadmill these days. I’ve been doing some different kinds of workouts thanks to the inspiration of taking an Orange Theory fitness class last month. At Orange Theory, they hook up you with a heart rate monitor for the entire workout, which consist of 23 minutes of cardio and 23 minutes of strength. All you have to do is follow the workout plan as set forth by the instructor while trying to keep your heartrate monitor color in the orange or red sections. These are the anaerobic thresholds that, once reached, can help burn calories after the workout has ended. I discovered in the class just how much I love working in the green section – the one right before orange & red. Why? Because I’m not out of breath as much in the green. After the class, I decided I could get myself in the orange by doing pick-ups of 1 or 2 minutes at a faster pace during my runs. I feel like it’s helping. I’m also getting back to doing some high intensity interval training on run days and cross train days. I haven’t done much strength training in the past few months, and I’m can tell that I need it.

Running clothes. I count this in a completely different category than running! I got a running skirt and long running tights for Christmas that make me so happy. Shane also gave me an awesome running jacket that I never would have bought for myself but absolutely love. It is perfect for an outdoor run and keeps me so warm I barely notice the wind and cold. Plus it has a cozy soft inner lining that is bright pink. I love running in pink.

Eating Lindor balls. Shane brought home a giant gift bag of assorted Lindor balls right before Christmas. How had I not discovered their particular brand of deliciousness??!! My faves are the light and dark blue, red, and black. I’ve since bought 2 more bags, and Shane also scared up another partial bag from work that have fed my addiction nicely.

Sewing. As one of my ways of coping with anxiety, I started sewing at night. I had started a Christmas tree skirt 2 Christmases ago that had tons of hand stitching. I spent many nights sewing on that and finished it right before I decorated. I then decided to make table runners as gifts. These were fun projects that forced me to finish the items I was working on, thus helping me get better at quilting and binding. I even tried my hand at free-form quilting, something I had never done before but now adore. In the midst of it, I found an awesome sewing machine that I ended up getting for Christmas. Sewing is so fun now, and I feel like I can do things I couldn’t do with my old machine. I have a few other projects in the works, which is exciting.

I have made three of these as gifts...we'll see if I ever finish the one I  started for myself.

Christmas tree skirt

Finishing our basement. Back before I went to Italy, Shane started working on finishing our basement. It took 2 loooonng years to finish. We used electricians, plumbers, and heating and air professionals early on to finish those jobs, but the rest was done by Shane. After spending all spring and summer sheet rocking, we saved up and had pros do the mudding and taping in the fall (I will forever be grateful for them! They did such a great job at helping our walls look good.) We also had a guy do the tile in the shower and bathroom floor. The boys helped us paint, which was pretty fun. We just got carpet 2 weeks ago. We finished it with all the same paint, doors, and trim so that it matches the upstairs. It’s so exciting to have it all done.

Reading. I’ve finished a couple of books lately, and started a few that I may or may not finish but still enjoyed. My favorites were The All Girls Filling Station’s Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg and The Lake House by Kate Morton. My least favorite was The Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood…I didn’t finish it, but I may, eventually. I’m reading The Library at Mount Char currently.

My family. We’ve had some really fun times at home lately, watching The Office reruns (because Thomas, at 14, decided he wanted to watch the series again now that he “gets more of the jokes.” Teenagers. I just cringe!) and our TV watching staple Modern Family. Shane and I had a really fun and casual anniversary dinner together (we were both filthy, having worked in the basement all day cleaning and then went to a late soccer game for Ben – seriously, the game started at 5:40 in the evening. The opportunity to go out sort of just evolved out of a very nice offer of Ben’s friend’s parents who were also at the game.) Shane and I had some very important conversations and started to understand a few things about ourselves and about each other that can help make things smoother. I’ve enjoyed watching Ben’s soccer team get clobbered each week by the club teams he’s playing during indoor soccer. We are like the ragtag team from the wrong side of the tracks with our cotton t-shirts and mismatched shorts, but the kids are learning a lot and getting better thanks to playing teams that have played for years together in indoor and outdoor soccer.  

Meeting someone again that I haven’t seen in over 25 years. It was something I had dreamed and hoped for and am so very grateful happened.

Knick knacks from my mom’s house. While helping her pack, I brought home a few items that have made me so happy. I got a painting that my grandpa painted. I also got a milk glass bowl that was my mom’s moms, and a pitcher with cups that was my dad’s moms. I didn’t bring home a lot of stuff, but what I did get, I really love and am trying to incorporate into my house instead of just shoving them into a cabinet somewhere to never see the light of day. I also brought home a giant secretary that I still have sitting in my garage. The thing is massive, almost 7 feet tall. I want to put it in my basement, but I don’t know if it can fit and haven’t convinced anyone to pick it up and attempt to take it down the stairs. (If any of you local readers have a moving-company hookup that would do a house call and tell me if it will fit or not, I might just love you forever.)

So what is making you happy lately? I want to know.

Snowshoeing at Solitude: A review of sorts

When I was a kid, I made exactly one snowman. I was approximately 3 years old at the time. Later, when I was 16, I went with my friend Cindy to a hill and attempted to snowboard.

That's all I got for winter outdoor activities, folks. I guess I've always been more of inside kind of girl.

So when I started to think about snowshoeing this year, it seemed foreign. But I've realized the past few years how much I love winter running. I'm not in the least afraid of the cold; I actually love it. I'm faster in the winter than I am in the summer, and my asthma doesn't seem to bother me as much. Plus, with my kids getting older, all they ever want to do is hang out with their friends. I'm happy to let them do that, but I'm finding that if we don't find things to actually go out and do, then we don't ever do anything together.

On Christmas Eve, we went sledding at a park near our house. It was really fun and it solidified my determination that we would soon try snowshoeing. Shane found us all boots. Then the day after Christmas, I got my very first pair of snowpants. (They are seriously so cute. I got them at Costco and I wore them for the rest of the day after I bought them.) I found a great deal on snowpants for both Shane and Thomas, and Ben already had a pair. We were ready, and all we had to do was pick a day and go.

That day finally came on Saturday. I had researched snowshoeing in Utah and found that the Silver Lake area at Solitude Ski Resort is the perfect place to snowshoe. The reason are many, but include:

• 6 miles of dedicated and groomed snowshoeing trails.
• Easy and relatively inexpensive rentals. They were very helpful, and asked us lots of questions. Thomas didn't have waterproof boots so they suggested overshoes for him. They asked which of us wanted poles (only I wanted them) as a way to save money. We were all outfitted and ready within 10 minutes of walking in to the Nordic Center.
• Free parking
• Easy to follow trails (once you realize the markings - will explain later!)
• A shuttle bus that allows you to travel between Silver Lake and the main Solitude Ski Resort.
• Color coded maps along the trails.

We got to Solitude about 12:00. We had originally planned on doing a half-day of snowshoeing, but to do that, you have to arrive after 12:30. Even so, it was still around $21 a person for the rentals and day pass. Not bad for trying out a new activity.

I kept thinking as I was getting my snowshoes on that standing up would feel like ice skating, but it didn't. There is nothing at all similar about ice skating and snowshoeing other than they both involve your feet and cold weather, ha ha.

The trail starts right outside of the Nordic Center. However, being new, we had no idea at first that we were on the cross country ski trail. We bumbled around for about 10 minutes, unsure of where we were supposed to be going until the person who helped us with our rental directed us to the trail. After that, it was super easy to follow the blue ribbons to stay on course. They were tied to trees, posts, bushes, and poles. There were other trails marked in other colors - we ended up taking blue around the lake, and then orange around another trail that took us past some lovely winter cabins. The two trails make a figure 8, and total about 1.5 miles.

The snowshoe trail is about 3 feet wide - wide enough for just a single person to snowshoe, and to pass others on the trail. By the time we started, the trail was pretty trampled, which was nice because it was less work, but kind of sad because it was fun to step on virgin snow. We each stepped a few feet off the track at some point just to make our own footsteps. It's fun to watch the snowshoes cut through the snow, and amazing to see how even though you sink a little, you still stay relatively higher than you would in regular shoes.

I used poles, and both boys used borrowed them for a time during our walk. Having poles isn't necessary in any way, but it makes it fun. I liked how they added an upper body component to the snowshoeing. (I've found this when I've used them hiking as well.) The poles were nice to have especially when going uphill. It took a little less strain off of of the legs.

Our little snowshoe adventure took us about 2 hours. We weren't trying to win any speed awards. We stopped and took pictures, laid in the snow to make snow angels, threw snowballs at trees, put snow down clothing (well, some of us), and admired the scenery. It was seriously such a gorgeous day - it was snowing just enough to be beautiful but not super cold. The wind was cold, but once you were moving, it sort of faded into the background, and was completely absent during our time on the orange Cabin trail, which is a little more sheltered.

I wore a pair of ColdGear UnderArmor tights, my snow pants, a pair of wool socks and a pair of acrylic (but my boots kept my feet so warm I would have been fine with one pair of socks), a short sleeve running shirt, a long sleeve running shirt, a running jacket, and a coat. I could have survived (and would have preferred) without my coat. I wore gloves sometimes, but other times I took them off because I was too hot or wanted to take pictures.

Once you get the rhythm down, you sort of forget you are wearing snowshoes at all. The kind I had required me to step toe-first instead of heel first, because the spikes were at the front of the snowshoes. There is a hinge that allows your hill to come up but the snowshoe to stay down.

Everyone had a great time. I would have loved to stay longer, but unknown to us until the very end, Ben had the stomach flu so he was more than ready to be done when we got back to the Nordic Center.We finished off the day by stopping at a cafe called Silver Fork Lodge for a delicious lunch.

Now for some pictures.

Not too bad for an inside girl, I'd say.


Have you ever been snowshoeing? Any advice or local trails you can recommend?

Currently: The Early Spring Edition

Reading: My Name is Resolute, Love Letters to the Dead, and Freedom from your Inner Critic. I have one book in different places all over the house so that I can have access wherever I go. I've never read anything by Nancy Turner before (she wrote These is My Words, which has always sort of been on my list) and I'm really enjoying Resolute. I went through an extremely dry reading spell at the first of the year, so I'm relieved to finally have some good books. Although I'm reading really slowly lately - I stopped taking the train to work, so that killed a lot of my good reading time. But, parking under my building and not having to walk over a block to work from the parking garage or train stop for the first time in 15 years is really, really nice.

Enjoying: my spring bulbs. Fears of global warming aside, I've loved seeing my early spring friends. My mini-daffodils were adorable, as were the new giant hyacinth that I planted. But my favorite are the poppy anemones. They are so sweet! They are various shades of white, pink, blue, and purple. I die every time a new one blooms. I planted 100 of them, and I'm tempted to plant more in the fall.

Sewing: baby blankets. I haven't sewn since 2013, how sad is that!? But there is a whole new crop of babies coming. I even picked out the flannel with my mom, which was fun since we don't usually get to do errands together, but she was living nearby for a while during her spinal fusion recovery. I had forgotten how much I love being creative. I think I spent most of January and February looking at my phone, texting and incessantly checking social media. I need more creative outlets.

Practicing: nothing, specifically on the piano. I sort of lost my mojo for playing in January and haven't gotten it back. I'm actually kind of embarrassed now (which is my insecurities showing, I know!) that I was playing in public. Most of the time it sucked. But I'm also sad I'm not practicing anymore. It was a lovely outlet for a few months. And, I'm wasting the piano tuning I had in January, which made my old piano sound so much better! Honestly, I think I miss playing Christmas songs. Church hymns get boring after a while. I don't feel like I can play much else because with those two genres, I have the advantage of always knowing how the song should sound so I can be lazy and not figure out the rhythm.

Running: in my neighborhood. One of my favorite routes is closed now, and is being repaved and sidewalks added. It makes me sort of sad - I ran that stretch of road more times that I can count for over 15 years. But I've found a new route that is making me happy that includes a new road that just opened a few months ago. Again, global warming aside, this winter was lovely for running. I ran in short sleeves in February multiple times. Who knew that could ever happen?

Liking: my new wallet. I bought it at the University of Utah hospital while I was visiting my mom. I'd had my old one since Ben was in diapers, so I think it was justified. Plus, it has two pouches with zippers so I can keep my key and phone all in one handy spot, thus theoretically preventing me from saying "Where's my phone!?" as often.  (I am anti-purse. They just aren't my type.)

Eating: the most delicious breakfast sandwiches ever. We got a breakfast sandwich maker for Christmas and I use it every day that I eat breakfast at home. It has revolutionized breakfast around here. Love.

Smiling: because of this selfie. We didn't get a pic of us when we saw Margaret Atwood in 2004. It was satisfying to get one this time, even if we couldn't get one with Ms. Atwood. (Also, Amy and I are veteran sister-selfie takers. We perfected it in Italy. Just in case you wondered.)

Going: to the gym for a sculpting class. It's been months since I've gone, probably since last summer! I'm going to be so sore. Update: I stayed for 15 minutes of spin class after sculpting. I really, really hate riding a bike. But I like being sore.

Surviving: having my IUD changed. Those 3 minutes when they clamp the cervix are awful. But, the lack of periods and 5 years of birth control pretty much make up for them. Also, I realized that I'm glad I don't have a lot of female problems and pain. The hour of cramps after the insertion before my ibuprofen kicked in were almost more than I could deal with. Kudos to those women who have painful female parts. My apologies if you didn't come here to hear about my cervix and uterus.

What is current in your life?

Gratitude, Day 3

In August, a Bikram yoga studio opened up really close to me. It was a dream come true for me; I love Bikram, but I couldn't mange the 15+ mile drive to the closest studio, or the drop-in rate very regularly. Having a place to practice that is only 4 miles away made me super happy. I've been going weekly ever since, with the exception of the times when my kids are out of school.

Being able to practice regularly has opened my eyes a lot to this style of yoga. I found out that as much as I love the class, I equally hate and despise parts of it. My feet ache in almost every posture. I hate how wobbly and inflexible I am on my left side. I dread going into Standing Bow Pulling, Standing Head to Knee, and Standing Separate Leg to Knee poses. This dread is only surpassed by my ultimate hatred for Camel Pose, which simultaneously makes me want to weep, and run from the hot room, screaming.

But mostly I love it. I love learning little tricks to making the poses easier. I love how I'm overcoming some of my balance issues, and how I'm getting more flexible.

I also love the owner and the tone that she sets for the studio. The Salt Lake studio I had practiced at was really intimidating. Everyone was so granola-y, with their Subarus in the parking lot and fancy yoga mats and towels and row upon row of perfect pose practitioners. I didn't feel welcome there; being there brought out my competitive side, and I didn't like that. Who tries to compete in yoga, after all. Ronda, the owner of the studio here, is really kind and real. It filters down from her to make it a very nice place.

One of the poses I've really been practicing at is Standing Separate Leg Stretching Pose. Basically, you are standing with your feet 3-4 feet apart. You grab your heels from the outside and pull, lengthening the backs of the legs as well as down the torso. The object is to touch the top of your head to the towel. I've touched my forehead in class one time before this week, but I didn't really do it the right way; my stance was too wide, and I wasn't lengthening from the right places.

But on Friday, I did it. I was really close on the first time through the pose. Since every pose is done twice, I thought I might be able to do it the second time around, and I was right. The stars aligned, and for a brief moment right before the pose ended, my forehead touched the towel.

The rest of the class felt like floating. I didn't mind any of the other poses I usually hate. I didn't want to run screaming out of the heat into the cool reception room. And while I don't know that I could do it every time, that time, I succeeded in a small thing. A small thing that really means nothing in the large context of my life, but it made me happy.

I've been thinking about my post about the envy I felt this spring during my first time back to Bikram. It was so unfair of me to be so envious. I made a realization of sorts during class on Friday. There was a group of girls who were having their first class. I watched them here and there and listened to the instructor help them with the poses. I wasn't really comparing myself to them (although I felt bad for one girl, who had worn some mascara and eyeliner and it ended up melting all over; nothing is safe from the sweat during hot yoga), but I recognized their inexperience and wondered how they would react to the class.

After the class, they were all in the locker room while I was getting dressed. They were talking and laughing about the class, enjoying the bewilderment of doing something new. And then they started talking about running, and how they were going to run 13 miles the next day for their long run (they were training for the Arizona Marathon in February.) Envy set in. Envy I haven't felt before in that studio, but that I brought to myself when I realized that even though it was their first class in Bikram, and that they probably didn't love it, they would be running a lot farther than I am running these days, and I imagined that they were all a lot faster than me, and I instantly felt crappy about myself. Despite my happy moment of touching my forehead to the towel. I started comparing myself to them, and it took my happy place away.

Why do I do that to myself?

I realize set myself up to want things and abilities that I haven't earned. I want to be the best writer, the best blogger, the best runner, the best yogi, the best photographer, the best reader, the best mom, the best cook, the best everything. Not because I want to be better than others, but I just don't want to be less than them. Is that the same thing? I don't know. I think that being competitive is part of my nature, but that it doesn't really serve me well. It sets me up for feeling things like envy that isn't really fair to either me or the other person.

So how am I to be grateful in this? I guess I want to stop putting myself down. I want to stop setting myself up to be the person that I pity. I want just be glad I touched the towel and not berate myself for not being able to run 13 miles the next day. I want to be grateful for what I can do, even if it isn't the best. Even if it's just one pose, for one day.  I want to stop doing the mental and emotional mathematics of who is better or worse or equal to me.

Knowing that I can try to learn to be that person, gives me something to be grateful for.

Summer 2014 Images

On Friday, Amy posted this about End of Summer images. I wanted to comment and tell her how much I loved her images, and share some moments of my own. But then I realized had an entire post of moments that I don't want to forget from Summer 2014.

Dinner with Shane. One night, the kids wanted to stay in with takeout from Five Guys, while Shane and I were more interested in our favorite Mexican restaurant. So we went on a date, just the two of us. It was a simple enough moment: sitting on the bench outside the restaurant, chatting and holding hands. Watching a group of girls who were all wearing their purple softball team uniforms talking and laughing and team-ing together. The view of the mountains, which were that shade of summer green that happens just before they start to turn. Later, the taste of a giant cold Coke and warmed refried beans with chips and salsa (the delicious detail that sets this restaurant apart from others.)

Walking with Ben. Thomas and Shane were running a four-mile training run for Thomas's black-belt physical test. Ben walked with me. The kid talked the whole time: wondering if the rock next to the trail was a meteor; why the sky was darker blue above us and lighter blue lower on the horizon; trying to find a rock of just the perfect size next to the trail that could be a meteor that wouldn't cause a giant crater, but would still put a dent in the trail. I loved his ceaseless chatter, the browning grasses next to the trail, the reddening trees on the mountains to the west, as he rode his scooter along the trail "that was only for walking, not for cartwheeling" he had earlier declared after I demonstrated a cartwheel.

Eating with Thomas. One evening, it ended up that it was only me and Thomas home for dinner, a very, very rare occurrence in our house. Shane was at a late meeting at work, and Ben had gone to the trampoline park with the neighbor kid's family. Not wanting to make dinner, I picked up Thomas from karate and declared it was date night. We went to Carl's Junior together (I'm a sucker for CJ!). We got burgers and fries and cokes and laughed through dinner. He's grown up so much this summer; he's now within an inch of my height, has bigger hands, and bigger feet than me. He's also matured so much, thanks to working at the library for volunteer hours, mowing lawns for his grandma and neighbors, and running with his dad. It was a great summer of growth for him.

Running in San Diego with my foursome. This is a family snapshot: Shane and Thomas ahead of me. We are in the cross walk at the intersection of Mission Bay Boulevard and San Rafael street, between the two bodies of water: the Pacific beach and Mission Bay, just down from our favorite San Diego hotel. Ben is riding his scooter next to me, and I am running. Usually runs in San Diego are solitary, but Thomas had a goal of running 4 miles without stopping before he started school, and so we did it all together on vacation.

Sitting in my sister's pool. For my mom's birthday, we had a family party at my sister's pool. I rarely swim, but on that day, I put on my suit and sat on the steps of the pool with my mom, sister Suzette, and great-niece Josie while she learned to not be afraid of the water. At some point, I ended up stealing my mom's straw hat right off of her head, which I wore for the rest of the party. Later, Amy and my niece Lyndsay came and sat with me. Visiting and watching the kids scream and play and swim while we visited made me happy.

Waiting for Wicked with Sisters Squared. The people on our Italy trip took to taking me and my mom and sisters Sisters Squared. It sort of stuck. In August, we got tickets to Wicked together. Looking down at the curtain at Capital Theater as we took selfies, talked about books we were reading, planned where we would eat dinner later (Desert Edge), and shared in the excitement of being together again as Sisters Squared is an image I don't want to forget.

Swearing with Amy. The end of Ragnar was a disaster. Amy and I sort of hobbled across the finish line, both of us near tears, swearing like sailors as the rest of our team ran ahead. I loved that I could tell my sister in just a few words what I was feeling, and that I didn't have to censor myself, but she would understand and swear along with me while declaring her own frustrations.

Talking Mom about laundry. A few weeks ago I had a little conversation on the phone with my mom that turned somehow to laundry. She told me a little story about folding laudry with my grandma when my two older sisters were tiny. My mom doesn't tell stories about that time very often, and I loved that it just came up so naturally.

Standing on the Pier at Pacific Ocean. I did get to go on one solo run during our time in San Diego. We stayed at a different hotel than we usually do; we were just down the beach a few miles, but it felt so different. I ended up on the sand, instead of the boardwalk where I normally run. I ran all the way to the end of Crystal Pier, where I stopped running, turned on I Wanna Get Better  by Bleachers (I didn't know I was lonely til I saw your face...) and looked out at the ocean. I love the way running on the beach smells. It's fishy and salty and sweaty, and it clears out my soul in a way that no other running anywhere can.

Thanks, Amy for your beautiful and inspiring post.(I enjoyed that moment at Ragnar, too. I always love driving out of Kamas on Saturday morning. It's one of my favorite parts of Ragnar.)

What are your summer images?

Stubborn.

Subtitle: I always think I know best. I might be bossy, or have certain control issues.

I have a serious stubborn streak. (This is not news to my husband.) Don't tell me I can't do something. Don't suggest something would work better. Don't take a route that I think is slower. Don't hint that the way that I've been doing something is the wrong way, or that it could be done better. 90% of the time, I won't listen to you, I won't try your way, I won't back down.

For instance, I stubbornly believed I could only run in Nike Zoom Structures for four years, buying the same exact model three years in a row. The first pair I bought in the store. The second I found on clearance at Nordstrom rack. The third came from Zappos, and the last pair, a model that was two years out of date, came from an exhaustive search that ended at e-bay (but they were pink. My first pink running shoes. I shed a tear that I wouldn't be finding another pair the next year.)

From left to right: I had two of the first pair and second pairs that were identical to the ones pictured. The middle pink pair were my last Nikes, sniff. The fourth pair are the evil shoes I just retired, and the last pair are my newest hope.

This year, I decided I had to go away from my Nikes. So I went to the sporting good store and bought what I thought was the best pair of shoes. I sort of let the sales person help me, but mostly I just went off of what I thought was best, and ended up with some Brooks Adrenaline. They were pink and felt good in the store, so I figured I had succeded in moving away from my Nikes.

The shoes were okay for about a week. Then my right calf started aching after every run, which made my knee ache (I cannot explain how calf and knee pain go together, but whatever. They did.) Then I got a blister on the very tip of my left big toe; not a regular, easily treated blister, but a swelling just under the surface that made every barefoot step like a little bee sting. It took two months for that to go away. Meanwhile, still I have the annoying aching. And 5 miles into a run, my toes on my right foot would go numb. But still I remained stubbornly sure that they were weren't the problem, because the idea of the shoes fits the belief I have of what kind of running shoes are best for me.

I started dreading putting my shoes on. Finally this week I decided I had enough. This morning, shortly after they opened, I went to a running store I've never tried before. The nice Chinese man who owned the store watched me walk, asked what I've been running in, and then declared I needed a neutral shoe (there are three kinds of running shoes: neutral, neither support or cushion, but in the middle, stability, which I've always worn, which keep feet from pronating, and cushion, which, you guessed it, are cushiony.) I immediately started to argue, stating the 5 years of running in my Nikes as proof that I needed a good stability shoe. "No. Try neutral." he told me, and got his very helpful assistant to bring me a pair of shoes that I planned on hating and sending back after much wise council on my part that they were altogether wrong for me.

Except...I loved them. The Brooks Ghost 6 neutral running shoe he brought me were awesome. They have a wide width, which he assured would help me avoid mid-run toe numbness. The arch supports, being much less than what I've been running with, were perfect for my left foot, which is always a nightmare to fit. They felt really cushy and good and springy and I decided that I must put my pride in my pocket and let the nice Chinese man and his assistant tell me that I was wrong in my prior belief in types of appropriate running footwear.

Believe you me, it was hard. I called in the troops (Shane) for a consult. He told me that they sounded great, the reviews were good on them, and encouraged me to trust the men and let them tell me what to do. The guilt of buying another pair of running shoes just 3 months after buying the last pair was overwhelming. The risk that they might not feel good mid-run and being non-returnable almost made me leave the store and order them on Zappos or Amazon, where a return was more likely. But, after much debate and walking around the store, I bought them.

Gulp.

I didn't hesitate to try them out today. My feet felt happier than they have in months. I am 2.5 hours post-run and my calf still feels good (I almost can't keep that sentence for fear of jinxing myself.)

I keep learning this lesson. That's its ok to let others be the expert sometimes. That I won't be hurting myself by listening to someone else. I might have a problem with pride. I might be resistant to letting letting males boss me around. (Even writing that makes me twitch and want to justify this aspect of my personality. Geesh.)

Maybe it's the very female house I was raised in. Maybe it's a lifetime of watching my mom, who very rarely lets others tell her what is best for her. Maybe it's just a human thing. It might be related to my control issues, or because I was OCD in my youth about which gymnastics leo I could wear on what day to make sure I didn't get into trouble. Or maybe, maybe, maybe.

I'm learning. The world kept spinning, even thought I did what the man told me I should do.

I might try it again sometime.

Race: Bloomsday 2014 - Serious ninja skillz

The first weekend in May has taken on a new connotation in our family: Bloomsday. Well, at least for me and Shane; the kids just think of it as the weekend we spend with our besties in Spokane.

We left last Thursday, feeling super cool because we were able to fly this year. Man, it's amazing that a one and a half hour flight can take the place of 12 hours in the car. Actually, I don't mind the drive - the part through Northern Montana and Idaho are so pretty, that it makes up for some of the drive. But at the same time: being able to spend more time with our friends and less time driving was great.

Most of the weekend was spent hanging out with our John and Mel. We ate a ton of yummy food. The kids ran around, making houses in the "forest" near their house, jumping on the trampoline, climbing trees, and playing with the dog. We had as much fun as possible.

Sunday was the race. The weather called for rain, so I wore lots of layers. Luckily, it didn't rain. The race was as beautiful as I remembered from last year. Some of my favorite moments:

• Running past the Cathedral of our Lady of Lourdes. I anticipated the church this year, and I was excited to see the priests out on the street, waving at the crowd. (I even took a selfie with them in the background.) I have an extreme wish to one day tour the cathedral; all of the cathedrals in Italy gave me quite a love for old churches, and so I decided that whenever we travel, we will tour a church or cathedral in the area. We didn't make it this year, but maybe next.
• Seeing the crowds of people cheering the runners.
• The beautiful cemetery near the first water station. There are so many trees, and it just looks so peaceful.
• Weaving in and out of so many runners. At Bloomsday, you are never, ever alone, unlike at Ragnar. I like knowing what it's like to run with 45,000 + runners.
• Running down the hill near the river before Doomsday Hill.
• Doomsday Hill. I never have met a hill I didn't like (well, at least once I'm on top of it.)
• The vulture, who I suspect wasn't a real person, at the top of Doomsday Hill.
• The bridge at the finish line. It is so pretty. With the river rushing beneath and downtown Spokane all around it - such a lively, energetic place to have the finish. Plus seeing it teeming with people as they finish the race isn't too bad, either.
• The old man who finished the race, only to find his little wife with a cane standing next to the bridge, waiting for him. She hugged him fiercely, and then he started to cry. And then I started to cry. You could tell what an effort it had been for him, and how relieved he was. Sniff.
• A tiny old lady, wearing running shorts and a tank top, running the race. She had to be in her late 70s. I want to be just like her when I am 70; still running, still out there, with a heathly body I can still trust to get me to the finish line.
• Finishing with Shane, holding hands across the finish line.

So, I mentioned some awesome ninja skills that I displayed. At about mile 5.25, I was runing through a lovely downtown Spokane neighborhood. The trees were shading my way, and I was deciding that I was ready to get the show on the road and finish the race. I sped up a little. I'm not sure what happened, but I stepped off a curb (I think!) and found myself stumbling. I kept trying to pull out of it, but found I couldn't. So, I took the next option available: tucked my chin to my chest and dive rolled out of the fall. The jolt of the asphalt was lovely on my head and my butt. When I realized what had happened, I just sat there, in the middle of the road, runners streaming past me. I finally got up and started running. However, I really, really wanted to cry but was trying not to (I kept remembering the hardness of the street on my head; I hate that!) and so I promptly began to hyperventilate. I walked for a little bit until I could breathe again and then finished the race. My head was tender, my hand and knee scraped, but it could have been so much worse.

And personally, I was pretty proud of the dive roll.

It was a great race, and a great weekend. The weather held out (I didn't dare say any prayers hoping for no rain when racing on a Sunday, ha ha.) We had a great time with our friends, our kids had a great time with their friends. I can't wait to run it again next year.

Here are some pictures.

I really want to run on this path one day...It goes all the way to Couer D'Alene

Friends who sparkle together, stay together.

A girl is trying, and failing miserably, to photo bomb us in this picture. And I love the finger of the person taking it for us. I guess it's hard to find good photography in the Honey Bucket line.

See the starting line in the distance?

I just love this church!!

Selfie with the priests

People stream across this bridge for hours and hours. Amazing!

I love running with this guy.