Gratitude #3: Bob.

Every Monday for over 4 years, I called Bob on the phone. It used to be right after I put my kids to bed, when the night was winding down and I finally had a minute to myself. We would talk about the weather, or his tomatoes, or the yard sale he had been to the Saturday before. We talked about death, a lot. It wasn't a gloomy thing - we just weren't afraid to go there with each other, and it came up a lot, because Bob missed his late wife Mary very much. In fact, he never got over her.

Bob always called me "sweetie." I loved it. I loved that we were friends. I loved that he got this excitement in his voice when he picked up my phone call. Oh, the guilt I felt when I forgot to call! He would always forgive me, but I always needed a good excuse for why I didn't call. I never liked thinking about him waiting all night for my call, and so I tried to not forget often.

A few months ago, Bob moved close to me. I visited as often as I could (which wasn't enough.) I always wished I could bring him over to my house; one Friday I almost accomplished it (with the lure of lasagna, no less) but it just didn't happen. The 3.5 months he lived close to me were a gift I never expected to have (nor did anyone else who knew and loved Bob.)

Bob was my grandpa by marriage. I think it was part of what sealed my decision to marry Shane; the thought of having grandparents again was just so amazing (I lost my grandparents when I was 9; my grandpa died then, and my grandma was captive in the tangles of Alzheimer's by then, so I sort of lost them both at the same time, even though my grandma lived until I was 15.) While Bob's wife was alive, we would see them at Christmas or when babies were born or if we went south for a vacation. But it was when Grandma Mary died that we started talking on the phone each week. At some point, those conversations stopped being chats between a grandfather-in-law and granddaughter-in-law and became conversations between two friends. I loved talking to him.

When I saw him for the last time on Wednesday, I held his hand and told him I loved him as many times as I could. I tried to memorize the feeling of being loved by a grandfather. He healed something that I didn't know I needed healing while I sat there when he told me he loved me back, because I had so wished when I held my dad's hand 2 years ago when he was dying that he would magically wake up and be able to talk and tell me he loved me just one more time. It was such a comfort to know that Grandpa heard me, and that he could respond.

Bob died yesterday. His little body had outgrown his giant soul and they came to the decision to part ways. I knew it was coming, but I still have so many emotions. I will miss my friend. I will miss him calling me "sweetie." I would have loved him to continue living here for a lot longer, but I know how happy he is to be where he is. He missed his wife so much. I'm sure it was hard to be left behind by so many of his friends and family.

I'm grateful for Bob. I am grateful that I know he is in a better place and that I will see him again one day. I am grateful to have been his granddaughter. 


This is us on Halloween. I don't remember them taking our picture, but I am so grateful to the person who did.

Currently: stuff I am worrying over

I am taking one out of Britt's book and doing this.

• Celebrating: My 13th wedding anniversary. Today. We're going out to dinner on Friday night. We are super festive like that. I do love that husband of mine. To celebrate, I entertained my kids all day with the TV and math flash cards. One of those was their choice, the other wasn't. Wanna take a guess?
• Rejoicing: my kids go back to school tomorrow! Thank heaven! I can't wait to have them go to bed at night again! I love exclamation points!
• Worrying about: Shane's grandpa, who has cancer. He doesn't live anywhere near here so I can't do much to help him.
• Avoiding: Coke. I gave it up on January 1st. I am always either indulging or depriving myself of the stuff. One day I'll get a handle on my love for soda. Or....I won't.
• Reading: The Time Traveler's Wife. On my Kindle. I decided I had to break myself into this whole digital reading experience with something that I knew and loved, and since I read it most years, I decided on that one. I have to admit I'm liking it.
• Excited: that the One Day movie was as good as the book. They had to snip little bits out here and there, but over all - it was fantastical. I love it when they get things right.
• Sore: from doing too much last week. I've added a new exercise regimen to my life, and I got a little (okay, a lot) too excited. My knees are feeling it. I took it easy today and am going to remember that my knees aren't as young as they used to be, and that running is my real love so I have to do everything I can to keep them good.
• Feeling: glad and sad the Christmas decorations are down. I kept them up until Saturday and while it felt good to get everything organized and put away, I hate the spare look of things.
• Craving: chocolate. I've mentioned before that as soon as I give up soda I drink massive amounts of hot chocolate. Plus I'm cold and nothing is cozier than heating up the kettle and pouring a nice hot cup of hot chocolate.
• Obsessing over: Pinterest. I just got on this weekend (thanks Mel!!) and now I'm doing all sorts of weird braids to my hair and trying to figure out cool stuff to put on my boards (side note: I'm so out of my league with the Pinterest! People are insanely creative and while I might come up with a few running skirts to add to the community, I'll be pretty sparse otherwise.)
• Laughing: that one of our neighbors took down their OUTSIDE trampoline and put it in their livingroom. I don't even want to think of the damage that would occur should I put up our (full size) trampoline in our house as they did. Seriously, WTF?
• Hoping: that my friend's husband gets out of the hospital soon. He went in for brain surgery over a week ago and has been in the ICU ever since. He's doing well, just his sodium levels and the parts of the brain that control them are all wacked out. If you think of it, say a little prayer that he comes home soon.
• Listening: to Adele, to Florence + the Machine, to The Fray.
• Watching: some basketball game on TV. My husband insists on turning on sports and then leaving the room and me, who is stuck watching Charles Barkley (Damn you, Charles Barkley!) and the gang commentating on squeaky-shoed men throwing around a ball.
• Wearing: jeans, my favorite cami with a summer shirt over it, favorite black Nike Jacket, and some braids that I learned to do tonight (see "obsessing over" above.)
• Wishing: that it was February 1st. Because then it isn't January and I can drink soda. But will I? Ack, it sucks giving it up because starting it again gets me nowhere, except for Cafe Rio Hunter which has The World's Best Vanilla Coke.

So, what are you up to currently?

This and that...Christmas Prep Edition

This: I want to remember - Friday night Thomas and I went to Target to do the kid's brother gifts for each other. We were walking out of the store and Thomas slipped his hand into mine and held it. It was such a great moment - he's teetering on the verge of Teenagedom, and I know enough to treasure them.

That: watched the Glee Christmas special and was so amazed. They read the scripture that you hear on Charlie Brown Christmas - Luke 2:11 "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." Two of the characters took back their iPods and earrings and donated the money to charity. We decided that we could take back a few of the presents we had bought as "filler presents." Kids these days have so much! It was awesome to recognize that bigger isn't necessarily better.

This: I'm trying hard to do some different things exercise-wise. I've started doing the workouts on bodyrock.tv. The hosts are a bit narcissistic and they do moves that I can only do in my dreams, but I feel really good doing them. Plus they are doing a 12 days of Christmas series, so every few days the release a new workout. Kind of fun to shake things up. And I swear I feel less out of breath during my runs, which makes me happy.

That: We spent Sunday putting up a tree at my dad's grave with my family. I loved seeing my sisters, brother-in-law, nieces and nephews. We had a lot of fun and it was so nice to spend some time doing something for my dad.

This: I also spent Sunday with our dear Grandma Margaret, who turned 90 today. She is so amazing and I love her a lot. I took a picture of her holding her newest great-granddaughter who is only 2 months old. The manager brought her a handful of Olive Garden mints at the end of dinner and told her happy birthday. Grandma's face lit up and she told him how much she loved eating there. It was a great moment.

That: Shane's other grandma made us over 40 crocheted snowflakes and bells to decorate our tree. I have them everywhere. They are so beautiful and I can't believe she would make something so beautiful for us. She even made us an angel to go on the top of our tree.

Do you have some this and thats that you want to remember about this year? I can't believe Christmas is only 6 days away.

100 years.

My Grandma, who was known on this earth as Florence, but was called "Flossie", is 100 years old today.

Oh, how I wish she were still with us.  There are just so many things I want to say about her, so I'm going to.

• She loved babies.  And kitties and puppies and anything little.  And they always loved her back.
• She was kind.
• Her fingers had the softest, squishiest pads on them.  I could play with the softness that was her hands for hours.
• One day, she took me to the dentist.  They told me that I couldn't eat for a half-hour afterward, so we went to her house and I watched Sesame Street. 
• Another day, we moved the furniture around in her house so we could vacuum her living room floor.  She kept telling me how strong I was and what a good helper I was to move the furniture with her.  I felt so strong and happy making her house clean.
• She loved to shop at Ream's. And she could never turn down the ice-cream counter at the front of the store.
• She liked to eat hamburgers at Wendy's.  I can still remember how good felt to eat a hamburger with my grandma.
• Our house had a hummingbird feeder in the kitchen window.  During the summer, when we would invite her to dinner, she would always sit with her back to the window.  I can remember exclaiming over the hummingbirds that would come to eat and her always turning around too slowly and missing the hummingbirds.
• She lived with us for a while.  She had a caretaker person come during the day.  One day, she locked the caretaker in the closet.  I have no idea how she did this, but it makes me giggle a little.
• During her bout with Alzheimer's, she did some interesting things.  She one day told my mom in a clandestine conversation that that "man" who was there all day was a "mean boss."  That mean boss was my dad.  I find this sweet and sad at the same time.
• I used to make her tickle my arms and legs for hours while we sat on her living room couch.
• When I would sleep over at my grandma and grandpa's house, I would sleep in a roll away bed they put between their beds.  I would have to stifle giggles when they would fart, because I was scared that they would think I was rude (because they didn't laugh at the farts.  But I couldn't help myself.) 
• The roll away bed was always covered in a quilt my grandma's mom, Amy, had made.  My sister Amy now has that lovely quilt, and my mom has the sewing machine it was made on.  (I have a different, unfinished quilt made by my other great-grandma and her sewing machine.  I love the symmetry of it!)
• She lived with Alzheimer's for 7 long years, and passed away when I was 15.

I could go on and on.  I miss her so much.  I can't wait for the reunion we will have one day.

Happy Birthday, Grandma.  I love you.