Saturday, July 10, 2010

Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca

It was 1989.  I had just ended my gymnastics years with a nasty broken/dislocated ankle.  I was 14 and in 9th grade and not very friend-savvy.  I had a few friends from school and church, but no one that I really felt was....right for me.  It  as an awkward age made even more awkward by the fact that I didn't have a direction and I didn't really know where to look for one.  And then, one night, I walked into a pizza parlor and found my friend Rebecca.  She invited me to stay with her and a large group of friends and go to the movies.  I didn't know it, but that invitation changed my life.

Rebecca and I have been through everything together.  We stayed together though multiple friend changes and upheavals.  We remained friends through high school, college, me getting married, her having a son, me having two sons, her moving to California, me staying in our home state of Utah. We danced together for more years than I can count. We lived though a total of 5 Grateful Dead shows together.  We have lived together for months at a time.  21 years is a long time, but it seems like just yesterday. 

It's true that we probably only see each other once a year.  We might talk on the phone every 3 or 4 months.  But it doesn't matter.  When we are together, we are still the same old Rebecca and Becky.  We even have the same name (but don't expect either of us to answer to the other's.) When we were 17 my mom made her a dance costume when her stepmother wouldn't.  That same year her mom opened her home to me so that I could see the Grateful Dead.  We have since stayed with her on multiple occasions (including my honeymoon and last year's San Diego vacation.)  Time and distance don't matter; we know each other too well and love each other too much to let anything come between us. 

My dear Rebecca is getting married tomorrow in Virginia and I'm not going to be there.  It kills me that I'm missing her wedding.  She knows that if I could, I would be there.  That my heart is there with her and her family in Virginia as she spends her last night before marriage.  We saw each other a few weeks ago when she was here in Utah.  We went to lunch and spent 3 hours sitting in the sun at Rumbi Island Grill, talking the whole time.  After lunch, we walked over to Kohl's and she taught me about spanks (am I the only girl who didn't know about spanks??)  Then, it was time for me to leave. I drove away only to realize that in all our hours of talking, I hadn't seen her wedding ring.  I flagged her down and opened her car door and admired her ring.  I hadn't noticed it because it had already become part of her.  She didn't flaunt it.  As she hugged me again as I left, she said "only a true friend would do what you just did."  My favorite thing about her is when she told me that she was getting married, I asked her "Do you want a wedding or a marriage?" And her answer was wholeheartedly "A marriage."  I was so glad she gave me that answer.

I love you Rebecca. I hope the very very very best for you on your wedding day and forever.  Thank you for being my friend all these years and letting me be a part of your life.  Thanks for inviting me to sit at your table at the pizza parlor that long ago night.  May your marriage be happy and fulfilling and may you always like each other just as much as you love each other.


Amy Sorensen said...

(Sorry I was late in responding to this. Google was being all weird and not letting me post any comments, but by some magic or other things seem to be working right again!)

I'm glad you had rebecca. Everyone needs one REAL friend in their life, even if you don't get to see her very often. You just pick the friendship right back up. I hope her wedding was wonderful & perfect & beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Becky, my longest and bestest friend, You have been a wonderful friend all these years. Thank you for writing this. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. You mean more to me than words can express. I love you so much!!!!