Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I am not an extreme couponer and other random facts.

*   I am a full-price girl.  I watch the coupon shoes and I know that I am officially a Bad Mormon Wife because I don't get $800 worth of groceries for $12.  And I never will.

*   But I am going to get $50 to the Gap this month thanks to triple rewards and Ben's surgery last month (love my tax return going into my son's mouth.)  At least I can buy a new running jacket with the bounty from the windfall of bills. Wahoo!

*   In a freak accident that I don't want to get into the details of, I flushed a pair of underwear down the toilet last night.  I haven't had that big of a "oh sh*t" moment in a long time (no pun intended).  I just kind of stood there for a while and tried to figure out what to do.  I kept thinking I would have to call a plumber in to help me retrieve undies from my pipes.

*   Yes, you read that right. No, I don't want to explain it.  I am an idiot.

*   Gravity is my friend.  So far, I am still plumber-free.  Hoping it stays that way.

*   I was both mortified and amused when I told Shane about the underwear incident.  He knew something was up and took it in stride.  I don't know whether to be proud or mortified by this.  As he often says, "Patience with the Allman girls."  He's learned it all right.

*   Shane grabbed me around the waist tonight on a walk and it scared the crap out of me.  I punched him and somehow my bracelet jabbed into my wrist.  I now have a giant bruise and it's all swollen exactly how it was last fall when we crashed our car.  Can I explain just how much I hate being scared?  It makes me strangely angry and violent.

*   I love NPR.  Amy turned me on to it last month and I've been tuning in ever since.  I love all the stories you hear on it.  It's fascinating.  And now Shane is listening to it, too.  It seems so nerdy but I can't stop listening.

*   Saturday is Beltane.  I always thought this happened at the summer solstice, but I have been wrong all these years.  I wish I could start a bonfire and get all pagan.  However, I think I live too close to our neighborhood church to have any fertility rites in the backyard.  So Happy Beltane to you. You should celebrate it, bonfire or not.  And, if you aren't one of the approximately 1,968 pregnant or postpartum women in my life, maybe you can be after Saturday.  I'll even offer to bring you dinner in 9 months.

 As I seem to have gone from potty talk to bedroom humor, I sincerely hope I still have bloggy friends after this post.

So what is random with you?


Britt said...

My brother used to try and flush his underwear down the toilet after he pooped his pants. "Hiding the evidence." He also once flushed a Hot Wheels car down, and it made it far enough to do damage. But back to you... I, at least, am grateful for your underwear incident because it made for great blogging.

Jeanette said...

So you don't feel alone in your humilation...

I wore my pajamas to school yesterday, and no, it was not pajama day. Even worse, my husband and all three of my children saw me walk out the door and NOT ONE OF THEM bothered to say "Uh, are you going to get dressed first?"

And I have a fire pit....wanna borrow it? Wish I could be one of your pregnant friends tomorrow *Sigh*

I'm avoiding Laura like the plague because I am so depressed every time I see her darling little baby.

Apryl said...

I love that you love NPR now. I'm so glad you've joined our cult. (I really don't know why EVERYONE doesn't listen to it! It's the greatest thing! So much better than all that talk-radio crap.) (Apparently I am biased.)