Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Meet my new friend.

Dear New Friend,

You made my acquaintance before I made yours. You've been there a few months I'd guess from the size of you; I imagine you've been hoping, waiting for some acceptance, some recognition by your host. I'm glad to say I didn't know you were there until I cast my eyes on you for the first time in the ladies room today.

Don't think you can fool me. The shine on you suggested you were trying to blend in with your brown neighbors (I can't call you friends), but I wasn't fooled. I knew who you were the moment I saw your color: grey. Grey. Grey. Grey.

Don't think yourself special because you are the first. I'm glad you weren't spotted while I was still a young 32, mere days ago. That indeed would have been a blow. I know you are going to announce to others of your kind that the water is warm, so come on and jump right in. I despise you for that. But you must have your small victories, mustn't you, you shorter-than-the average interloper.

I've got my eye on you. Don't even worry, because I'll be on the lookout for more of your kind. I may just pull you right out, so consider yourself warned. Watch out. Medium brown, purchased from the beauty supply store, will hopefully be your downfall. I know, I know, I'll battle you again and again, but your hide out has been discovered.

I'll be watching you.

Signed, the Host of the Head of Nicely Brown Hair before YOU Arrived


Jeff and Kayci Bitton said...

I love the way you write things like this!! You make me smile:) It was inevitable, at least now you know and you are taking care of it...lest your head be covered with more at 33 years young. I think my mom got them young too...? :) love you!

Amy Sorensen said...

Holy cow! I am envious. I was 29 when i found my first interloper. I think it is all Grandma Elksie's fault. Don't all the Allman cousins have grey, too?

Anyway. I feel your pain!