Monday, September 15, 2008

The proper removal of band aids.

Just rip it off, right? Because then it will hurt less.

Today was the day that my dad stopped living in the home he's occupied for over 30 years. It is a sad day, but a necessary one. He just isn't safe living at home anymore. My mom can't take care of him anymore. I can't blame her; she has lived day in and day out with alzheimers for 3 years now.

Before you pull the adhesive, take a big breath.


Two of my sisters gathered at the care center with my mom this morning. I entered a foreign room filled with my dad and mom and sisters, a few of my dad's things littering the floor and bed. An empty suitcase. Clothes in a closet. A bed on wheels. Cozy old people chairs.

My dad's new residence? Bizarre, but true.

I watched them take his weight, ask him his height. His hands were folded quietly, but his feet wiggled a nervous jig minute after minute after minute. His eyes were a little moist, and he looked at me from the depths of brown. Was he trying to convey something? He couldn't express the feelings, but they came out just the same.

Kiss afterward to make it feel better.

I worried about leaving him, sitting alone in that foreign room with his familiar things. But I was spared. Moments before I left, it was magically lunch time, and he was lead down to the dining room, introduced around, and invited to join in on a game of "throw the poker chip into the pie tin" (the game that is sweeping the nation.)

He walked the chip over to the tin and dropped it in. Everyone laughed, his new friend Becky in the wheelchair called him a cheater, and for a moment I saw my dad's smile transform him into the man I once knew. Then I could kiss him and walk away.

Wait for time to heal all wounds.

And wait I shall. But not for his healing, but my own.



I love you, Dad.

9 comments:

Jeanette said...

Becky,
I am so sorry =0(

I saw you walking Thomas to school today and wondered why you were home, I am sorry it had to be for this.

Care centers are horrible places because they aren't homes, but good places because they are safe, with round the clock care and someone to watch over him. Your poor mom can have a rest and can go visit whenever she wants, and he can come home to visit.

I know it's hard, but look at it like a milestone, like the day he stood on the sidewalk and watched you drive away to go live at college. It's just another sign of moving forward.

{{Hugs}}

Thomas Family said...

Beck,
I knew he was going into a rest home I talked to Grandma the other day about it, but I guess it didn't hit me til I just read that! I feel so bad for him, in one way but I think it will be good for him in another. I miss his smile and his innocence that he has. He knows what he feels but is all he does is smile and say ya.. I can't wait to see him on conference weekend. And I will see you on thursday. I hope you have a good night. Love you,
Lynds

Ginger said...

Hi Becky. I am so sorry. Isn't life sucky sometimes? It just doesn't seem fair at times.

Ginger said...

Oh and we need another girl's night soon and maybe that will help you think about something else even if it just a couple of hours. :)

Jeff and Kayci Bitton said...

Thank you for sharing! You made me cry!! I hope you heal faster rather than slower. I love you! He will be well taken care of (I pray)!

unforgetable moments said...

i made you cry?! haha well you and amy both made my cry my little eyes out for about 4 hrs today. ha no joke. last night when they were at my house for dinner, when we said goodbye i couldnt help but cry. and just said i love you grandpa so much. i wanted him so bad to just look at me and for one moment know who i was and to say "i love you too!" but he didnt he just sat there and gave me the biggest hug, maybe that was it. thats all i needed. my heart aches for him and grandma, but this will be good. i love you becky so much...thank you for allyou do for me. I LOVE YOU! and hang in there it'll get better as time goes on. love you

Amy Sorensen said...

I so wish I could have been there, but I am glad you were, at least. I am certain that on some level he knows and is grateful. BIG HUGS. Plus, I love the way you wrote this. Clever, but perfect!!!

Corey, Dani & Kaiya said...

hey beck! thanks for the comment. i am glad that lindsay let me know that you guys blog. i wanted a way to keep in touch and this is awesome! i love your dad. this was hard to read i had no idea that things were geting this tough. i love you lots and i think about you all the time I wish I could see you soon! keep in touch!
~Dani

cHeRi" said...

AMY...I AM SO GLAD YOU FOUND ME!!! HOW THE HECK ARE YOU?? YUP...WE ARE HAVING A BABY BOY! SO EXCITING! I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU DAD! HE'S SUCH AN AMAZING GUY! I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED HIM!! IT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU THOUGH! KEEP IN TOUCH!