Friday, August 21, 2009

The last supper...

8 years ago tonight, Shane and I ate our last supper.

It was the night before I was scheduled to go in and be induced to have Thomas. I was 3 days over my due date, but not super anxious to be done being pregnant. I mean, I was, but I knew that I would miss it some. There is nothing in the world like feeling your baby kick you - even if it results in your wetting your pants. Hey, I'm just saying.

But the night before, Shane and I went to Red Robin. I think I ate some chicken strips, Shane had a hamburger. I remember how warm it was as I waddled through the parking lot. We talked all through dinner about what would happen the next day. I found I was a little reluctant for it all to be over. Worried that so much would change once our sweet baby came into the world. Maybe we would never hang out again, I thought.

So, tonight, on the anniversary of that long ago night, our last dinner date before officially being parents, I think of all the ways that things have changed, but also stayed the same. I'm still me, but now I have these two incredible kids to hang out with. Shane and I still get to have time together, and we still like each other. It isn't the same, but the life that life has brought has given is so full.

And now, for some bad pre-digital photography, this is the day I met my son.

See the light coming in the window? Yeah, it was 8:15 am. We were supposed to be there at 7:30. We were late to go get our kid. Who does that? And, my nose looks crooked in this picture. My dad used to say that your nose always looks crooked right before you go into labor. Maybe I should have waited a few days to see if Thomas would have shown up on his own.

If you could see the window now, it would be pitch black, since Thomas didn't decide to be born until 11:40 pm. That's 15 1/2 hours, in case you weren't counting like I was. But look how cute he was, even with the bruise under his cheek from being wedged agains my pelvis. Lucky baby.

Our first family picture. I can't believe how young we were, or how fat I look.

I'm so glad Thomas came to us. The time I had with him, when he was my only baby, my only responsibility, is very precious. No matter how many children come afterward, I don't think it ever feels the same as it did with your first. There aren't other children to tether to your shopping cart as you wander the grocery store aisles. No one else has to share your affection, or your heart. It is something you never get back, for better or worse.

Happy Birthday, Thomas. Thanks for picking me to be your mom.


Melanie said...

I remember that feeling so clearly. I was so worried that we would never get a chance to be a couple again - that everything would change so drastically. I was as nervous about that as I was excited to see my baby.

I can't believe how tiny you look in that picture for someone about to have a baby!

Happy birthday, Thomas!

Amy Sorensen said...


I remember how, with Haley, as each day passed and she grew away from being a newborn, I would comfort myself by thinking "but at least I get to do it again someday." What I didn't really understand is how you don't EVER get to do THAT experience again. I wish I would have known to savor more with my first born because you're right: that really is a special time when you just have your oldest.

I hope he had a great birthday! When i talked to him on the phone, he told me he'd gotten scriptures. I asked him what color they were and he said "the same color as my mom's!" which made me giggle a little bit!

Lucy said...

I love your pictures. And you are NOT fat. Hello post-partum.

What a sweet moment in time. It is the biggest life change, I think, that moment you become a mother.

Anonymous said...

My last supper before having Nicky was a bowl of cereal. I didn't know that they STARVE you in the hospital so I ate lightly thinking that Scotty could go get me something to munch on while we waited for labor to start (I, too, was induced). This time, I'm totally stuffing myself before I go to the hospital and then I'm going to sneak food while no one's looking. Take that!

P.S. Happy Birthday, Thomas!

Kristin said...


Thanks for connecting the dots on Lucy's book review of the Shell Seekers. How fun!! Of course I remember you and Amy. I am so excited that you found me and knew who I was! I have such fond memories of Sage Creek and it has been fun seeing what you girls are up too. How do you know Lucy?

This is such a sweet post!! I feel the same way. I will be checking in again. Isn't blogging fun? I love finding old friends.

Thanks for telling me who you guys were...I HAD NO CLUE!!

Kristin Johnson