Why I will never buy my husband pants again.

1. In November, I bought Shane some jeans for Christmas.
2. They were Levis 569s, because that is the pair I thought I bought him last year.
3. Did I mention Shane has to wash everything before he wears it?  Yeah.  So, even if it is the pair of pants I bought him for Christmas, they have to be washed.
   
4. And since he wants to wear his new pants from Christmas, I have in the past washed the pants, then wrapped them in a box and surprise! Given them to him on Christmas.
5. After I bought said pants, we discovered that the pants he REALLY likes are his 559s, not his 569s. Ok. Fine.
6. I take back the 569s and buy the 559s.
7. We wash them and fold them in the top of my closet to await the time when I get around to wrapping them.
8. All day Thanksgiving, Shane begs to wear the jeans. I say no.
9. Then, he gets some money for his birthday, and decides to give me the money for the pants we already bought and asks me to buy some more.
10. I go back and buy what is labeled as 559 jeans.
11. I get them home and surpise! they are 501s.  I return them for 559s.
12. I encourage my husband to try on the pants that I buy, and he declines.  Since he has some newish pants (the original ones I bought) to wear on Christmas, we don't have to wash the jeans. Phew.
13. Just to make sure you are keeping up, I have at this point bought my husband 4 pairs of pants.
14. I wrap the newly purchased pants.  He unwraps them on Christmas and washes them that night.  Tags are gone, receipts are thrown away the day after Christmas.
    
15. As we are getting read to go out yesterday, Shane asks me to come and look at his pants.
16. The new, 4th pair of pants that have already been washed and are supposedly size 34 in length are about 2 inches too short.  The kid looks like he's walking in high water (which makes me giggle a bit to witness.)
17. I dig through the trash to come up with the receipt I threw away earlier in the day. It's gross, but readable.
18. We take the pants back to the store.  Of course the store is trashed and have absolutely no pants in the size that we need.  We get a store credit for the defective pair of jeans.
19. I lose $4 in the transaction due to coupons I had during the original purchase that I'm lacking this time around.  This would not be an issue if I could just exchange the pants instead of returning them.
    
20. Today we went to a different store and used the store credit for the correct size, style, color, and length of pants. 
21. We bring them home and....wait for it......the security tag is still on the pants.
22. After swearing for awhile, Shane pries the security tag off the pants (the checker at the store assured him when he called that if the shoplifters can get the tags off, he should be able to, too) and washes them. 
23. I firmly declare I will never buy him another pair of pants. 
24. Ever.