Okay, I want to update my blog today, but every sentence I write, I erase, because the words just aren’t flowing. But I’m as tired of looking at my review of Virgin in the Garden as I was of reading the actual book, so here is an attempt at blogging today.
Does anyone else agree with me that Grey’s Anatomy last night was one of the best episodes so far this year? I was bawling when the Healer was helping Dr. Bailey’s son. When she was talking to Chief Webber about how faith can’t heal people, I wanted to crawl into the TV and take her aside and tell her that it can. I love how Grey’s can touch your heart so wonderfully. I love how they can fill an episode with so many different variations of the same theme. Faith can heal, but it can’t fix everything (Dr. Bailey). We can find ourselves lost when we lose our faith (George and Cally). Having faith to move forward doesn’t always get you where you think it will (Derek with the house plans). Putting faith in your relationship doesn’t mean that everything is as it seems (Meredith’s relationship with Derek). And the leap of faith, trusting your instincts that something good can come of something new (Derek asking Rose to dinner). Our inability to acknowledge even to ourselves and certainly not to others that we have, or once had, faith (Alex). I loved each of these examples of faith, and how faith sometimes takes us where we are unwilling to go.
I have lived so many segments of my life where my outer life did not reflect my inner faith. Times when I had no desire to live what I felt to be right because it wasn’t fun or convenient or what my friends were doing at the time. Or times when I was unsure if being the person I wanted to be would work in my current life. I always held on to my faith; I questioned it, even railed against it, but I could never deny it completely. I can remember being so scared to admit to myself that I wanted to go back to actively practicing my faith. The steps were small, but steady. There are so many times and trials that I am so, so, SO glad I will never have to go back and repeat. But I think that faith carries us through those times. It may waver, but never dies.
So I wish I could say to Dr. Bailey that faith does heal us. It isn’t instantaneous or fun or painless. We come through it scarred, changed, different, but we do eventually get there. Those changes make us who we are, and make us stronger. Stepping in to that secret part of us that hopes, that holds our faith, is the hardest part.
3 comments:
What a beautiful post Becky! Thanks for all the thoughts on faith, I don't watch Grey's Anatomy but I do believe in "faith, nothing wavering"....the ideal that is so hard to live up to sometimes. Makes me think of one of my favourite scriptures....."I believe, help me in mine unbelief!" Kas
Becky you are going to love Time Travelers Wife. My favorite. Now that I think about it did you tell me about the book? anyway if you did, thank you. If not, call me when you finish it. love you rebecca
PS sorry I haven't called you back. I will call soon. BTW I started taking modern dance classes again and I'm loving it.
When Dr. Bailey said "Faith doesn't heal you, medicine does," it really made me want to pause the show and just think for a second. It was so startlingly against what I believe---that medicine and faith can work together. I liked this episode, too, and have decided I like Rose better than any of the other characters!
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