Four and counting

The night before I had Ben, I had my bishop give me a blessing. In it, he blessed me that I would be able to remember the details of Ben's birth. I wondered about the wording later that night, and even the next day.

I know now why I was blessed to remember the sweet, sweet details of Ben's birth. It was because it would be my last labor. It was so that I could return to that day often in the future. Like today, which is the 4th anniversary of that day.

Ben was born at 6:30 pm. I was started at 7:30am, so it had been a long day, but if it had been possible, I would have let it go on longer. I was 3 days overdue, and he still took his time coming into this world. I still regret, a little, that I never got the excitement of goint into labor, of rushing to the hospital, timing contractions, trying to breath, screaming at the traffic (at least that is what I would imagine it would be like.) But maybe then labor wouldn't have lasted as long, and I wouldn't have been able to claw out every moment the way I did. I seriously love, love, love the days my babies were born.

Maybe that blessing was what inspired me to get a picture with my delivery nurse and doctor. Ben's middle name is for my doctor, a man I love to pieces. It would be my last possible birth with him, because he is now retiring. It probably inspired me to sit down and write everything I could in my journal on the day I left the hospital. And I know it inspired me to treasure the quiet moments with Shane, waiting, while we talked and laughed and trailed IV poles to the bathroom while we watched When Harry Met Sally.

But that day is far in the past now. Ben is four. He refused to stay three, even when I asked him extra nice last night. For some reason, he keeps marching straight toward little-kid-dom and away from baby-dom. He wants to be big and play we and fight with his brother the way all four's do. He has no need for being reminded that he was the sweet, blond-haired baby that emerged that long ago February 17th.

But I do.

Happy Birthday, my Benny-bean.